so why do we do it? Why is it that we choose tho go to hospitals instead of having midwives. Do we as Americans feel safer being in institutions rather than being in the hands of one woman who uses no special tools. Midwives have been around for many years, but why have they not been publicized more as a safer alternative to hospitals? I feel that as Americans we choose hospitals because they are all we know. We only go to hospitals for anything that involves crises in our lives. Whether we are hurt or giving birth. Even though midwives provide mothers to be with a very interesting birthing experience that may hurt or be orgasmic, we choose to be surrounded by men and women in gloves and masks ripping babies out of the ones we love. WE are so use to this because we feel security for those moments when we feel unsafe.
In America we see birth asa an experience that is too scary because of the fact that a life is coming out of someone and it is scary for some What if one cannot afford a a hospital, what do we do? It is hard to make decisions but i feel that it is as easy as asking yourself if you are getting a midwife for yourself or for the baby. Sometimes i feel that a person wants to go to a hospital because we want to feel ok for ourselves first and then the baby. Also the same thing with a midwife but that may be so that the baby is ok and then you come next. People view midwifery as dangerous and unsafe because we feel that a women coming to help you in stretching and other exercises are bad. Even though they are trained almost as much as doctors are. I want to look at the idea of midwives through latin perspective and how midwifery is a taboo for us.
In my family nobody i know of has ever given birth by a midwife. I asked my mother why and she said because she never knew about a midwife. She first got pregnant at the age of 18 and she really had no idea what to do so the traditional hospital birth was the only option she had. As for my brother and I, we were born the same way, through a hospital. My family doesn't belive in midwifery birthing because it seems akward to us. We dont like the idea that a woman comes to our home and helps us out, it just seems weird and unecessary. I feel that in American society hospitals are the route to go because a hospital has the security in case things go wrong where it can be fixed. Also because hospital births are very common, almost as common as seeing a Mcdonalds within walking distance of us. Midwifery on teh other hand is seen as strange and funny to us. I asked my Aunt who is currently pregnant and asked her if she would ever think about getting a midwife and she said," haha are you crazy, how do i look stretching my fat belly in front of chris?" She has another son and she wouldnt want a midwife because her family will see her doing these things and think she is weird. Also she has this idea where something may go wrong. If something went wrong like we saw in the cnn clip, i dont think my aunt would be able to handle it, conisdering what happend last year. On wham.com i read an artical fdetailing three reasons why having a midwife was not good. It stated that midwives are not trained for high risk births and carry only basic childbirth tools. The idea of this is iffy to some because they always have a thought in the back of their mindws that what if their baby is at risk, will the midwife be able to help. As we saw in th "business of being born" the mother who had a pound baby. The fact that this happened and the midwife didn't see was pretty scary. The mother at 5 months old was very small and that was even pointed out by her freind and if her friend can spot that but a trained midwife can't then there is a problem. In latin culture having a midwife isn't an option because many latin women don't like the idea of having a lady rushing in at many hours of the night checking on the mom. Also from what i see from my life and other people, Latin women are very preocupied so they find no time in the whole midwife movement. ALso many spanish women don't know about midwives. Latin women tend to follow norms and tradition so any other research that ma be beneficial is never discovered.
Along with researching the idea of midwifery as a taboo, I looked at the pros of having a midwife in relation to spanish people. I found that a midwife can cost much less than a hospital and this is always good and not only for spanish women but for everyone. Another advantage that i found on wham.com is that a midwife is fully attentive to your baby. Doctors are very busy and have many other things on their mind but a midwife plans their schedule based on your needs. What latin women like to do is that they like to not feel pain and they like the security that a doctor provides. When i asked my family what they thought about the idea that doctors sometimes tell us lies just to get more money and everyone was surprised. Sometimes doctors use drugs because they get more money since the shots cost tons of money. The doctor fuels the ideas that women are going to feel pain. A hospital enviroment sweats out the aura of pain. People sick, people dying, people giving birth. It is all scary and when my mom told me how the doctor kept reminding her about the drugs when she was pregnant with my brother, it didn't shock me. The hopsital is made as a capitalist institution like a Mcdonalds or fast food joint. We are offered a menu of operations and procedures just like a restaurant. It is a factory of get in get out.
I also looked at teh idea of latin women getting pregnant at younger ages. 52 percent of latin women got pregnant at least once before the age of 20. Why is this valid? This shows that latin women are too young to understand birt. Many times the birth is unexpected and the woman goes throuh with it because they do not like the idea of getting an abortion or any other idea. Some women are babies themselves giving birth. When we are that young and giving birth, one doesnt take time to read a book on midwifes and there isnt alternatives to a hospital. It is hard to understand what they want when they do not know themselves. That statistic from the nationalcampaign.org was not shocking either because birth is very common at early ages in latin culture and it is common for hospital birth because we are naiive or sometimes uneducated about other options.
It is not tradition to seek a midwife in my culture and the fact that sometimes a person is uneducated doesnt help. Latin women choose their path because they can be afraid, or they just don't know any better. I feel that an education about these things are imprtant. Many women want children but the fact that we do not learn about these things in school, it is very hard to decide on what is best. It is time to change that and also the way that latin women have birth at young ages.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
You find yourself at a cocktail party with the author of the book you just finished reading. To demonstrate that you really read it, you say, "Hey - thanks for writing the Ina May guide to childbirth.. Your main idea on how midwife births are safe effective and acceptable made me rethink ever going to a hospital if my wife were to ever have a child. You attacked so many negatives about midwives and you have brought so many positive aspects out that it would be nonsense for someone to ever read this book an actually continue to go to a hospital for birth.
But the author, surprised to be talking to someone who instead of sharing their own birth story actually rephrased the main idea of the text s/he spent months giving birth to asks, "Really, which parts were most effective or important for you?" When you answer, "Well, in the last third of the book you focused on the process of approaching someone with questions , which further developed your book into being anactual guide and can really help people who do not kno where to begin. You have literally made a guide that can walk someone through their entire midwife experience. But let me be more specific. Such where u wrote some questions which you listed ou on pages 308-310. In this section of the book another idea I focused on was where you spoke about maternal death beginning on page 272 and continuing on. This was a very emotional part of the book which may come off as nightmarish but at the same time very informative. The last part of you book also spoke about vaginal birth after cesarian. This part of your book was very factual and raised awareness and knowledge to those wondering. Your book is more of a guide than most other books written on this topic due to the fact that the reader feels as if you are actually speaking to them.
At this point, realizing that s/he's having a unique conversation with a serious reader of her/his book, the author asks - "But what could I have done to make this a better book - that would more effectively fulfill its mission?" You answer, "Well, let's be clear - your text sought to provide (narratives, historical analysis, journalistic analysis, policy analysis) from the perspective of a ( ....) for the book-reading-public to better understand pregnancy & birth in our culture. Given that aim, and your book, the best advice I would give for a 2nd edition of the text would be, to focus less on all of the stories of childbirth. I feel that the first part of the book is repetetive and dry. But I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing. I appreciate the immense amount of labor you dedicated to this important issue and particularly for making me think about orgasm during natural birth & techniques that hospitals avoid which ultimately are the proper solutions. Such as the hands and knees push which can get a baby out if danger arises, where as in a hospital they take other approaches. In fact, I'm likely to inform my family and friends about natural birth as a result of your book. The author replies, "Thanks! Talking to you gives me hope about our future as a society!"
But the author, surprised to be talking to someone who instead of sharing their own birth story actually rephrased the main idea of the text s/he spent months giving birth to asks, "Really, which parts were most effective or important for you?" When you answer, "Well, in the last third of the book you focused on the process of approaching someone with questions , which further developed your book into being anactual guide and can really help people who do not kno where to begin. You have literally made a guide that can walk someone through their entire midwife experience. But let me be more specific. Such where u wrote some questions which you listed ou on pages 308-310. In this section of the book another idea I focused on was where you spoke about maternal death beginning on page 272 and continuing on. This was a very emotional part of the book which may come off as nightmarish but at the same time very informative. The last part of you book also spoke about vaginal birth after cesarian. This part of your book was very factual and raised awareness and knowledge to those wondering. Your book is more of a guide than most other books written on this topic due to the fact that the reader feels as if you are actually speaking to them.
At this point, realizing that s/he's having a unique conversation with a serious reader of her/his book, the author asks - "But what could I have done to make this a better book - that would more effectively fulfill its mission?" You answer, "Well, let's be clear - your text sought to provide (narratives, historical analysis, journalistic analysis, policy analysis) from the perspective of a ( ....) for the book-reading-public to better understand pregnancy & birth in our culture. Given that aim, and your book, the best advice I would give for a 2nd edition of the text would be, to focus less on all of the stories of childbirth. I feel that the first part of the book is repetetive and dry. But I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing. I appreciate the immense amount of labor you dedicated to this important issue and particularly for making me think about orgasm during natural birth & techniques that hospitals avoid which ultimately are the proper solutions. Such as the hands and knees push which can get a baby out if danger arises, where as in a hospital they take other approaches. In fact, I'm likely to inform my family and friends about natural birth as a result of your book. The author replies, "Thanks! Talking to you gives me hope about our future as a society!"
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
hw 39 insights part 2
the major insight in these next 100 pages is that midwife practice is not terrible and that it can be pleasing to women. There are times where a women feels pleasure from giving birth and that the mind is in a state in which the pain no longer exist. This pleasure from birth is called orgasmic birth. In this part of the book the images show women as they ar giving birth and they all seem to be smiling and look like they are enjoying giving birth because it feels good.
I thought this was not possible for a woman to experience but in some cases things like this happens. it surprised me at first and i thought it was weird for a women to experience, but i think that at the moment of giving birth, feeling good may not be such a bad thing. I think its great someone experiences that during birth because it totally cahnges the mood in the room from nervous and scared to enjoyable and maybe a little bit scared.
I think orgasmic birth should be publicized. To know that it can feel good is comforting, the only problem is that not everyone experiences it so it may not be such a good idea for someone to get pregnant just so they can experience an orgasmic birth.
I think that more books should include the techniques used in birth. Ina May lists out a bunch of things women can do to ease the pain, things such as laughing, or going in warm water to help open the sphincter
Another thing that should be addressed is the fact thateating good is precious in the pregnancy process. I feel that as a whole, women feel that they can eat whatever they want since they are pregnant but its bad because the baby get nutrients from what you eat so if a woman eats pringles and honey buns all day, it can harm the baby
I like how there are pictures showing positions that can comfort the pregnant woman and these moves have been around for a very long time and it is amazing because these people had no hospitals and they all came out fine but doctors insits that hospitals are whats best.
I like the way that the author described ultrasounds and how she said that they led to cancer for babies in the 70's . This should be paid attention to for the mother to understand that there were side effects back then.
I thought this was not possible for a woman to experience but in some cases things like this happens. it surprised me at first and i thought it was weird for a women to experience, but i think that at the moment of giving birth, feeling good may not be such a bad thing. I think its great someone experiences that during birth because it totally cahnges the mood in the room from nervous and scared to enjoyable and maybe a little bit scared.
I think orgasmic birth should be publicized. To know that it can feel good is comforting, the only problem is that not everyone experiences it so it may not be such a good idea for someone to get pregnant just so they can experience an orgasmic birth.
I think that more books should include the techniques used in birth. Ina May lists out a bunch of things women can do to ease the pain, things such as laughing, or going in warm water to help open the sphincter
Another thing that should be addressed is the fact thateating good is precious in the pregnancy process. I feel that as a whole, women feel that they can eat whatever they want since they are pregnant but its bad because the baby get nutrients from what you eat so if a woman eats pringles and honey buns all day, it can harm the baby
I like how there are pictures showing positions that can comfort the pregnant woman and these moves have been around for a very long time and it is amazing because these people had no hospitals and they all came out fine but doctors insits that hospitals are whats best.
I like the way that the author described ultrasounds and how she said that they led to cancer for babies in the 70's . This should be paid attention to for the mother to understand that there were side effects back then.
Monday, March 14, 2011
hw 38 insights from birth book
The book I am reading is called Ina May's guide to childbirth. The structure of the book is that in which it is a book that is sort of like a journal. It reminds me of an email. Peple send her stories about their experiences and they are all in this book. This book is not really a guide but more of a journal of all her favorite births, or at least the ones that were significant to her.
The major question that this book tries to answer is why is having a natural birth at a farm/ village looed down upon? It makes women feel closer to the earth and more spiritually connected to their child, so why is it so bad? I feel like the answer to that question is as easy as saying that having midwives and farms where women give birth really are not as profitable to that institution and to America in the way that hospitals are. Childbirth is a business where every cut, and every word and action a doctor makes costs money. Childbirth can cost less to the parents if they do natural birthing but of course institutions such as hospitals tend to make an argument saying that having a home/ natural birth is undafe and dangerous because god forbid something goes wron, then both the baby and mother are in jeopardy.
The main insight in the first 100 pages is that midwives and natural birth is a very surreal experience for everyone involved. The methods that these natural births follow are methods that humankind have followed for centuries. The insight is that hospital births take away from the beauty of birth. Hospitals take away from the spirituality and extacy that a mother can feel. Hospitals just take the regular approach which is to put you in a bed and inject you if you are hurting. Natural birth invloves a lot of participation and emotion that the drugs hospitals give would take away.
5 interesting aspects of birth that deserve public attention.
1. Midwives in general. They should be more popularized and women should experience natural births more often
2. the way that doctors tell you to do something because it will make them money. The truth behind why doctors tell moms to get c sections or to feed their babies formula. That should be adressed.
3. The way that some women find birth to be orgasmic. Not many people know this about having natural births. It should be said that taking the steps that a midwife tells you can make your birth more pleasurable.
4.How some drugs you take can endagner the baby and drug up your baby. The doctors use these pain killing drugs on the mother but the baby can get some of it too which means the baby will come out being under the influence kind of. Not a good way to enter this world.
5. The way how most doctors have never sat in to witness a real birth session so they really don't know what it is like to see a baby coming out, where as for the midwife, they see all of that so they can tell when something is wrong.
Ina May uses a lot to support her claim that natural birth is the way to go. The whole book is her evidence i think. In every story there may be a part that is scaring or akes the reader make a face, but at the end the person always says how beautiful and happy they were to have a natural birth, so her clain is that what people think about these nightmarish midwives and their atrocious ways really is not true.
The major question that this book tries to answer is why is having a natural birth at a farm/ village looed down upon? It makes women feel closer to the earth and more spiritually connected to their child, so why is it so bad? I feel like the answer to that question is as easy as saying that having midwives and farms where women give birth really are not as profitable to that institution and to America in the way that hospitals are. Childbirth is a business where every cut, and every word and action a doctor makes costs money. Childbirth can cost less to the parents if they do natural birthing but of course institutions such as hospitals tend to make an argument saying that having a home/ natural birth is undafe and dangerous because god forbid something goes wron, then both the baby and mother are in jeopardy.
The main insight in the first 100 pages is that midwives and natural birth is a very surreal experience for everyone involved. The methods that these natural births follow are methods that humankind have followed for centuries. The insight is that hospital births take away from the beauty of birth. Hospitals take away from the spirituality and extacy that a mother can feel. Hospitals just take the regular approach which is to put you in a bed and inject you if you are hurting. Natural birth invloves a lot of participation and emotion that the drugs hospitals give would take away.
5 interesting aspects of birth that deserve public attention.
1. Midwives in general. They should be more popularized and women should experience natural births more often
2. the way that doctors tell you to do something because it will make them money. The truth behind why doctors tell moms to get c sections or to feed their babies formula. That should be adressed.
3. The way that some women find birth to be orgasmic. Not many people know this about having natural births. It should be said that taking the steps that a midwife tells you can make your birth more pleasurable.
4.How some drugs you take can endagner the baby and drug up your baby. The doctors use these pain killing drugs on the mother but the baby can get some of it too which means the baby will come out being under the influence kind of. Not a good way to enter this world.
5. The way how most doctors have never sat in to witness a real birth session so they really don't know what it is like to see a baby coming out, where as for the midwife, they see all of that so they can tell when something is wrong.
Ina May uses a lot to support her claim that natural birth is the way to go. The whole book is her evidence i think. In every story there may be a part that is scaring or akes the reader make a face, but at the end the person always says how beautiful and happy they were to have a natural birth, so her clain is that what people think about these nightmarish midwives and their atrocious ways really is not true.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
hw 35 other perspectives on birth
The people I have interviewd are freinds and family. first I interviewed one of my friends.
QUESTION: Do you want kids?
FRIEND: yea I want kids. They're so cute and i think that having one will be good because it teaches you responsibility and being an adult. Being a parent must be hard but when yu think about it, 99 percent of people want to be prents one day.
QUESTION: Dont you think that You will be a good parent? What have you learned in your childhood that may carry on into your parenting?
FRIEND: Umm i think that i will make my kid or kids really good. I want to raise them well. I want to be strict with them so they know that respect is important. When i was growing up, i wasn't allowed to be with friends for long and my parents would always sit wit me and help me with my homework. I will be like that with m kids because they will grow up and do good in school which is very important. Also i want to be successful in my life so that i will provide a lot for my child. things that i never had, i will want to give to my kids.
QUESTION: What environment would you want your kids to be raised in. Would you want to raise your child in a specific way?
FRIEND: i dont want my kid to eat junk food at a young age because that will just mess him up. I will not spoil my kid rotten. I don't want a daughter either, i just feel like they are more responsibility and i will be very protective of her for obvious reasons. I want to be stable with a career and a wife or at least someone who i love and who loves me back. I dont want my child to be raised by only me or only the mother. I think that a double family household is the best because the baby will grow up feeling secure and knows that there are 2 important people who really care about the baby. Also i want my baby to be bilingual and i want the mother to have good genes because i want the baby to be cute not weird looking.
I noticed that with my friend, there was a lot of studdering, and that gave methe idea that really he can say all of these things but in reality, he doesnt kno what he will do. Being a parent is very hard and we can plan all we want for it, but things won't always be perfect.
The next person i spoke to was my girlfriend. I spoke to her because she always speaks about being a mom and most women i know always speak about being a mom.
QUESTION: What do you think about becoming a parent, do you want to become a parent?
GF: YES! I think being a parent is the closest we get to seeing and creating miracles. I want to have a kid so bad. Just to think that i brought him/her into this world would be the best. It helps you grow up too.
QUESTION: Do you think that being a parent is stressfull. Do you think you will be able to handle being responsible for someone besides yourself?
GF: Well yea it's going to be stressfull at times because all parents and their kids have their bad daysso it is not going to be perfect, and ye ai definitely know i can handle being responsible for my child. That's why people have to learn to be mature. And have a job! :)
QUESTION: What age do you want a baby?
GF: by the age of 22 or 24ish.
QUESTON: Don't you think that you will be too young to have a kid? 24 is pretty young, i mean you will only be a few years into pure adulthood. Why do you want to be a parent so young?
GF: Young? No. Most people hav kids while they're still in their teen years. I just don't want to be old and have a kid. I think around my mid 20's would be the perfect age.
QUESTION: Ok but don't you think thatwhen you are older you have a moe stable life?People who have kid in their 20's usually tend to become single parents most times because they are too young to know what they want in life. Do you think being older and more stable will be better for your child's future?
GF: I dont think that has anything to do with my child's future. I mean as long as i have a good paying job, not in debt, and i have time for my child, everything will be fine. Even if i do end up being a sinlge mother, it doesn't mean i won't be able to give my child what they need. They can always visit their father too i dont care! :)
QUESTION: Do you have any idea how you want your child to be raised? Are there any restrictions you have in mind for your child?
GF: Not sure. Im going to be different. I don't want mto be all on top of my child. I'm going to give them spaceand stuff. As a baby i'm going to take care of them but i will not spoil them.
What i noticed about this interview was that there were a lot of "likes" used. My girlfriend seems pretty sure about having a baby but i feel that we all do because we can all imagine ourselves being parents because we feel that all we have to do is make sure the baby is fed and clothed and taken care of with basic needs. We don't take into accout all of the activities we have to do witht them, or what to do once the baby begins school or even what to do if there is nobody to take care of the baby when the parent has things to do. I feel that young parents like the idea of being parents, but once that baby takes its' first breath, that's when things become real and we have to completel devote all of our time and energy into the child
The third person i interviewed was my mom and of course she has a lot to say because she has 2 other kids besides me and she got pregnant when she was 19.
QUESTION: Do you think you have been the best parent you can be?
MOM: well certainly not the best, but you guys aren't bad kids so i feel that i have done a good job. You and your brothers aren't on drugs or in gangs or none of that so i feel that i have led you and dsiciplined you guys into becoming men which is very imprtant.
QUESTION: What was your experience like being a mother a 19?
MOM: Well your father was so happy to be having a baby. It stopped my life from progressing though. He took me out of school where i wanted to become a nurse or go to med school. I had to make sure your brother was clothed and grew up ok. Things withme and oyour father were always bad but i managed to raise you guys well and it was also due to te fact that your grandparents would help out. I had to freedom to go out with friends because your father wanted me to be home to take care of your brother. When all of you guys were born that was when things got bad, as you remember all the fighting with your father that i had. I never wanted you guys to grow up in that situation but in seeing all of that, it made you guys aware of the world and how things were.
QUESTION: If you can go back in time what would you change abou being a mother?
MOM: I would have done better in school and tried my best. I would have raised you guys without your father because he was so violent sometimes and he barely helped with anything.
QUESTION: Was raising 3 kids a challenge for you?
MOM: Of course it was. I made sure you guys went to good schools and i made sure you guys had everything yu needed. I guess when i had you guys, i had to grow up and do it quick but i do nt regret ever having you guys and i am happy that you are all good people who care and who are not out in the streets with other kids. I have done my best to raise you guys, but now you guys are all older and now it is up to you guys to watch out for eachother and to make sure im okay now! :) I brought you up but now you are almost 18 and you have a good view on the world so that is why i give you the freedom to do things and i want you guys to experience life but i will still baby you guys if i have to.
After the interview with my mom i realized that she has raised us well and i want to be a parent like she was.she hustled to get us to the point we are at now. Being a kid, I witnessed what my mom faced on a daily basis and she is a strong woman. Raising 3 kids practically alone and doing such a good job at it must have been hard and i cannot believe he did it but that is one of the resons why I love her so much. She threw away her life to make sure ours wee great, i feel like being her son, i have to repay her for her sacrifices.
Patterns I noticed during my interviews were that the older people always had better answers and younger people had stereotypical answers. some people I spoke to just shot out their thoughts but could not articulate, and others spoke very well. Overall i feel that the younger we are the less we know about birth and babies, but we all want to have them. I have seen a lot of teen mothers and young mothers and what i notice about them is that they seem to be stressed all the time and they also have no freedom anymore.
Being a parent or wanting kids is someting that we as a whole need to plan carefully because we all want to be the best parents we can but honestly I look around at some people i know and i don't think that the situations that they are in are suitable for a baby. It is a big decision to have a child and the way i see things are that i don't want to be a father until I have MY life in order. Like my dad always tells me, Don't have kids until you have your career because if you do, you will have to give up alot. That was probably the best advice he has ever given me.
QUESTION: Do you want kids?
FRIEND: yea I want kids. They're so cute and i think that having one will be good because it teaches you responsibility and being an adult. Being a parent must be hard but when yu think about it, 99 percent of people want to be prents one day.
QUESTION: Dont you think that You will be a good parent? What have you learned in your childhood that may carry on into your parenting?
FRIEND: Umm i think that i will make my kid or kids really good. I want to raise them well. I want to be strict with them so they know that respect is important. When i was growing up, i wasn't allowed to be with friends for long and my parents would always sit wit me and help me with my homework. I will be like that with m kids because they will grow up and do good in school which is very important. Also i want to be successful in my life so that i will provide a lot for my child. things that i never had, i will want to give to my kids.
QUESTION: What environment would you want your kids to be raised in. Would you want to raise your child in a specific way?
FRIEND: i dont want my kid to eat junk food at a young age because that will just mess him up. I will not spoil my kid rotten. I don't want a daughter either, i just feel like they are more responsibility and i will be very protective of her for obvious reasons. I want to be stable with a career and a wife or at least someone who i love and who loves me back. I dont want my child to be raised by only me or only the mother. I think that a double family household is the best because the baby will grow up feeling secure and knows that there are 2 important people who really care about the baby. Also i want my baby to be bilingual and i want the mother to have good genes because i want the baby to be cute not weird looking.
I noticed that with my friend, there was a lot of studdering, and that gave methe idea that really he can say all of these things but in reality, he doesnt kno what he will do. Being a parent is very hard and we can plan all we want for it, but things won't always be perfect.
The next person i spoke to was my girlfriend. I spoke to her because she always speaks about being a mom and most women i know always speak about being a mom.
QUESTION: What do you think about becoming a parent, do you want to become a parent?
GF: YES! I think being a parent is the closest we get to seeing and creating miracles. I want to have a kid so bad. Just to think that i brought him/her into this world would be the best. It helps you grow up too.
QUESTION: Do you think that being a parent is stressfull. Do you think you will be able to handle being responsible for someone besides yourself?
GF: Well yea it's going to be stressfull at times because all parents and their kids have their bad daysso it is not going to be perfect, and ye ai definitely know i can handle being responsible for my child. That's why people have to learn to be mature. And have a job! :)
QUESTION: What age do you want a baby?
GF: by the age of 22 or 24ish.
QUESTON: Don't you think that you will be too young to have a kid? 24 is pretty young, i mean you will only be a few years into pure adulthood. Why do you want to be a parent so young?
GF: Young? No. Most people hav kids while they're still in their teen years. I just don't want to be old and have a kid. I think around my mid 20's would be the perfect age.
QUESTION: Ok but don't you think thatwhen you are older you have a moe stable life?People who have kid in their 20's usually tend to become single parents most times because they are too young to know what they want in life. Do you think being older and more stable will be better for your child's future?
GF: I dont think that has anything to do with my child's future. I mean as long as i have a good paying job, not in debt, and i have time for my child, everything will be fine. Even if i do end up being a sinlge mother, it doesn't mean i won't be able to give my child what they need. They can always visit their father too i dont care! :)
QUESTION: Do you have any idea how you want your child to be raised? Are there any restrictions you have in mind for your child?
GF: Not sure. Im going to be different. I don't want mto be all on top of my child. I'm going to give them spaceand stuff. As a baby i'm going to take care of them but i will not spoil them.
What i noticed about this interview was that there were a lot of "likes" used. My girlfriend seems pretty sure about having a baby but i feel that we all do because we can all imagine ourselves being parents because we feel that all we have to do is make sure the baby is fed and clothed and taken care of with basic needs. We don't take into accout all of the activities we have to do witht them, or what to do once the baby begins school or even what to do if there is nobody to take care of the baby when the parent has things to do. I feel that young parents like the idea of being parents, but once that baby takes its' first breath, that's when things become real and we have to completel devote all of our time and energy into the child
The third person i interviewed was my mom and of course she has a lot to say because she has 2 other kids besides me and she got pregnant when she was 19.
QUESTION: Do you think you have been the best parent you can be?
MOM: well certainly not the best, but you guys aren't bad kids so i feel that i have done a good job. You and your brothers aren't on drugs or in gangs or none of that so i feel that i have led you and dsiciplined you guys into becoming men which is very imprtant.
QUESTION: What was your experience like being a mother a 19?
MOM: Well your father was so happy to be having a baby. It stopped my life from progressing though. He took me out of school where i wanted to become a nurse or go to med school. I had to make sure your brother was clothed and grew up ok. Things withme and oyour father were always bad but i managed to raise you guys well and it was also due to te fact that your grandparents would help out. I had to freedom to go out with friends because your father wanted me to be home to take care of your brother. When all of you guys were born that was when things got bad, as you remember all the fighting with your father that i had. I never wanted you guys to grow up in that situation but in seeing all of that, it made you guys aware of the world and how things were.
QUESTION: If you can go back in time what would you change abou being a mother?
MOM: I would have done better in school and tried my best. I would have raised you guys without your father because he was so violent sometimes and he barely helped with anything.
QUESTION: Was raising 3 kids a challenge for you?
MOM: Of course it was. I made sure you guys went to good schools and i made sure you guys had everything yu needed. I guess when i had you guys, i had to grow up and do it quick but i do nt regret ever having you guys and i am happy that you are all good people who care and who are not out in the streets with other kids. I have done my best to raise you guys, but now you guys are all older and now it is up to you guys to watch out for eachother and to make sure im okay now! :) I brought you up but now you are almost 18 and you have a good view on the world so that is why i give you the freedom to do things and i want you guys to experience life but i will still baby you guys if i have to.
After the interview with my mom i realized that she has raised us well and i want to be a parent like she was.she hustled to get us to the point we are at now. Being a kid, I witnessed what my mom faced on a daily basis and she is a strong woman. Raising 3 kids practically alone and doing such a good job at it must have been hard and i cannot believe he did it but that is one of the resons why I love her so much. She threw away her life to make sure ours wee great, i feel like being her son, i have to repay her for her sacrifices.
Patterns I noticed during my interviews were that the older people always had better answers and younger people had stereotypical answers. some people I spoke to just shot out their thoughts but could not articulate, and others spoke very well. Overall i feel that the younger we are the less we know about birth and babies, but we all want to have them. I have seen a lot of teen mothers and young mothers and what i notice about them is that they seem to be stressed all the time and they also have no freedom anymore.
Being a parent or wanting kids is someting that we as a whole need to plan carefully because we all want to be the best parents we can but honestly I look around at some people i know and i don't think that the situations that they are in are suitable for a baby. It is a big decision to have a child and the way i see things are that i don't want to be a father until I have MY life in order. Like my dad always tells me, Don't have kids until you have your career because if you do, you will have to give up alot. That was probably the best advice he has ever given me.
Monday, January 17, 2011
hw 30
i decided to focus on alienation while sick and how when people are in the hospital or they are dying, they are left alone with no family.
a resource that i had was my own life and how my family alienates others until that person is on very ill and in the hospital. Another source i looked at was the movie that we saw called near death. The part that struck me the most was the part when the elderly woman passed away in the hospital bed while her family was on their way to see her.
on the internet i researched alienation and it was always something about p.a.s which was parental alienation. I then saw something about karl Marx's theory and it spoke about how alienation is when we separate ourselves from the things that matter.
The way i carried out this project was that i went to go visit the member of my family that we alienate the most which was my aunt. The reason why we alienate her is unknown but it definitely has something to do with the fact that she is ill and so is her husband. It makes me think that we alienate them because theyare sick and we dont want to have that site around us but my family isnt like that. i guess i really don't know why we leave them out of family events. I actually enjoyed seeing her but it was very awkward for me because i was just sitting in her living room not really doing much. i did realize though that she didnt have any new things in her house and she still smiled. i wondered did her lack of knowledge on all the new things our family has gone through made her happier. She seems at peace witht he situation that she is in. she calls my grandma alot and it seems that she doesnt mind being alone. it gives her more time to be with her husbandand to relax. I think being alienated really isnt so bad afterall. MAybe she prefers it. I use to feel so bad for her and the fact that we dont visit her ad i still do feel bad but she seems to not mind.
i relaized and i learned from visitng my aunt that maybe alienation to some may be the worse feeling for some people but alienation may also bring some benefits as well such as tranquility and happiness. I feel tha being alienated is in some cases very positive and the best part of the day for people. on the other hand i learned that younger people do not like the feelin of alienation. One person i spoke to hated being alone and that person would always be sad and depressed. I realized that people who are alienated at younger ages seem to hate it and become depressed. As for older people they don't mind it because their whole life was spent having social interactions with others and this was their moment to enjoy being alone and just relaxed. So being alienated isn't a bad feeling.
This shows that when people are ill and elderly, they usually like to be alone. They also become more joyous and they learn to love life more.
this matters because it is imporant to realize that sometimes people need to be alone and it is not a bad thing. Also the reasons why we may alienate someone is because we feel ashamed or afraid to reconnect with someone. alienation can lead to happiness though because it can make someone do things that they want to do.
a resource that i had was my own life and how my family alienates others until that person is on very ill and in the hospital. Another source i looked at was the movie that we saw called near death. The part that struck me the most was the part when the elderly woman passed away in the hospital bed while her family was on their way to see her.
on the internet i researched alienation and it was always something about p.a.s which was parental alienation. I then saw something about karl Marx's theory and it spoke about how alienation is when we separate ourselves from the things that matter.
The way i carried out this project was that i went to go visit the member of my family that we alienate the most which was my aunt. The reason why we alienate her is unknown but it definitely has something to do with the fact that she is ill and so is her husband. It makes me think that we alienate them because theyare sick and we dont want to have that site around us but my family isnt like that. i guess i really don't know why we leave them out of family events. I actually enjoyed seeing her but it was very awkward for me because i was just sitting in her living room not really doing much. i did realize though that she didnt have any new things in her house and she still smiled. i wondered did her lack of knowledge on all the new things our family has gone through made her happier. She seems at peace witht he situation that she is in. she calls my grandma alot and it seems that she doesnt mind being alone. it gives her more time to be with her husbandand to relax. I think being alienated really isnt so bad afterall. MAybe she prefers it. I use to feel so bad for her and the fact that we dont visit her ad i still do feel bad but she seems to not mind.
i relaized and i learned from visitng my aunt that maybe alienation to some may be the worse feeling for some people but alienation may also bring some benefits as well such as tranquility and happiness. I feel tha being alienated is in some cases very positive and the best part of the day for people. on the other hand i learned that younger people do not like the feelin of alienation. One person i spoke to hated being alone and that person would always be sad and depressed. I realized that people who are alienated at younger ages seem to hate it and become depressed. As for older people they don't mind it because their whole life was spent having social interactions with others and this was their moment to enjoy being alone and just relaxed. So being alienated isn't a bad feeling.
This shows that when people are ill and elderly, they usually like to be alone. They also become more joyous and they learn to love life more.
this matters because it is imporant to realize that sometimes people need to be alone and it is not a bad thing. Also the reasons why we may alienate someone is because we feel ashamed or afraid to reconnect with someone. alienation can lead to happiness though because it can make someone do things that they want to do.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
hw 27
nobody in my family was sick durin this break and I was happy about that because I really hate the way my family gets when someone is sick. I did find out that my aunts husband who is about 70 years old has colon cancer, on top of the fact that he lost his sight a year ago. I remember seeing him so happy and smiling and seeing us in his house. this is the same person who lost all 4 sons and now my aunt has he husband with her and he cannot even function properly anymore. Iris so sad to see someone suffer like that. My uncle now has to go get chemotherapy now. It reminds me of when my mom ha cancer and lost her hair. she was really sick and luckily my brothers an I had family that helped out. Now that he is sick, my aunt is really hurting. If she were to lose him she would be all alone.
one thing that I feel relates to the situation was that he was like Morrie. everytime I saw him he got worse an worse. it sucked to see it but it's like everyone in my family i going to go through a situation like that. I don't think he will ever smile or laugh again. he cannot even see his own wife and it is so sad but she Is really strong because she manages to still be happy everyday and she reminded me of the guest speaker that we had. I mean it wa sad that she lost her husband but she seemed to cope with the loss. I think that my aunt is going to be ok though because in my family, deaths are very common
I remember when he came to my house maybe around the summer time. He wasn't really sick then. He was blind and had a cane and didn't know who anyone was because he couldn't see us. I felt so ba because all he did was sit in a corner and when I went to say hi to him he didn't know who I was and he didn't smile. It's like he gave up on life. No matter how he is, my family refuses to call him or invite him places, even though we can all easily pick them up or bring them over since they live 6 blocks away. I find it upsetting because my family won't realize that him and my aunt are family too. I felt really upset and couldn't believe what happened to him in a matter of a year and a half. I think ever since his last son passed away he started to deteriorate.
one thing that I feel relates to the situation was that he was like Morrie. everytime I saw him he got worse an worse. it sucked to see it but it's like everyone in my family i going to go through a situation like that. I don't think he will ever smile or laugh again. he cannot even see his own wife and it is so sad but she Is really strong because she manages to still be happy everyday and she reminded me of the guest speaker that we had. I mean it wa sad that she lost her husband but she seemed to cope with the loss. I think that my aunt is going to be ok though because in my family, deaths are very common
I remember when he came to my house maybe around the summer time. He wasn't really sick then. He was blind and had a cane and didn't know who anyone was because he couldn't see us. I felt so ba because all he did was sit in a corner and when I went to say hi to him he didn't know who I was and he didn't smile. It's like he gave up on life. No matter how he is, my family refuses to call him or invite him places, even though we can all easily pick them up or bring them over since they live 6 blocks away. I find it upsetting because my family won't realize that him and my aunt are family too. I felt really upset and couldn't believe what happened to him in a matter of a year and a half. I think ever since his last son passed away he started to deteriorate.
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