hw 50 first third of the book

The first third of the book was the descprition of the authors view on death and her experiences with death. She views death in the perspective of a science and not as an emotional thing for herself. Her work consists of many death encounters with many people mainly older people, and she analyzes them and their experiences. It seems that the people vary from being satisfied or happduring their experience with death but others feel pity for the person dying.

"Thanks to lucy's foresights and good humor, her family and friends were allowed to experience how death can be so wonderfully included in the process of living.

"By talking about her passing, thinking about it, and acting on the reality of deathin her future, lucy provided her sons with coping mechanisms for what the future would assuredly bring."

"He was such a nice man with gentle ways"

Something interesting about this book was how the author makes u feel sad. She uses language that makes u feel as if u were with her doing everything. Another interesting thing was that when the first lady was spoken about and how she died it was like the author was glad for her passing and it set the book off for being a good vibe book and then we get into deaths that make one feel depressed. Its a book that I can tell is going to be like ina mays childbirth book in which its going to be a lot of stories then maybe some facts that will make me bored but for some reason I would rather read this book because it just seems so much more relevant to me and my life. I love how when I read this book I can connote ideas into my life because I have experienced deaths in my life and I try to analyze peopless emotions but it gets to the point where I can't even focus on emotions but instead I am creating my own. Now this book gives me the satisfaction of reading about what a death expert notices from more of a scientific lens.

hw 48 interviews

For my interviews I spoke to my mother and my grandmother. I found very interesting things out about what my mom believes. I asked her what she thought about respect for the dead. She said, " I respect everyones wishes especially when they are written down or said in advance. As for me I want you all to respect my wishes and i want to be put in a little moselium and I want every organ donated that can be donated." I asked her if she has put thought into the way she saw her funeral going. She said that it was important that she looks natural and as if she is sleeping and that she doesn't want to be altered to the point where she cannot be recognized. The last question I asked her was if she thinks that caring for the dead and respecting their wishes is important in being satisfied living. Basically she said," I think its important that we respect what the dead want because it makes me happy knowing that they are happy even in spirit."

The next person I spoke to was my grandma and for this I told my little cousin the questions to ask her since I felt a bit weird talking about it with her. One question was if she wants to be cremated or anything special and she said, "no as long as you guys come visit me and take care of my grave I will be happy." I also asked her if she thought it was okay to disrespect what the dead wish for. She said, " yes that is something you don't want to do because a spirit is much more stronger than a living being and to upset them may not be ok." How has seeing dead family changed your views on caring for yourself?. " well seeing my sister in the coffin really hurt me and I knew that all I could do was brush her hair and cry. It made me think and not stress life because the soul will live on so caring for me when I pass away will ensure that I have a happy transition of worlds."

COMMENT ON THIS HOMEWORK TEAM! hw 47 peer perspectives on care of the dead

For this homework I decided to interview a few very close people to me. I interviewed my friend who I have known all my life. My college friend who I speak to very often. Then I spoke to my middle school friend. For the first interview I spoke to my long time friend who have a very existential mind set. I asked him what does he think about the idea that what we do know won't matter once we die. He said that he understands that which is why he loves to do what he does. He lives with few rules because he believes that to like well one must have a very small concious but still need to be smart. Another question I asked was if he and his family have any special rituals for the people who pass away in his family? He said, "no we just have the standard funeral and that's it, but I don't really go to a lot of funerals cuz I don't have so much family here." What do you think about caring for the dead? Do you think its important to treat the dead as if they were still here? " I don't know cuz that pretty scary. Once a person in my family dies then its pretty simple from there on we usually forget to see them or clean their resting place or even say their name. The memories kinda fade."

The next person I interviewed was a female college friend who I haven't known for that long. She felt weird that I asked her these questions but it was cool. I asked her if she thought that treating the dead well was important. She said, " I don't think it is because treating the live is better and more important. Once someone dies I'm not saying that we have to disrespect them I'm saying that maybe we shoudnt dwell on them for so long. Life is about survival and we are all like little bugs and once one dies we keep going so nothing really stops us from living." Have you had any special things you have done for the dead in ur family? "I don't know if we have. I mean we creamated before but is that special? We have also sent someone back to the country they were born at to make it more sentimental and it was more emotional because the person was back home so it felt like he really was just on vacation.

The last person I interviewed was my middle school friend who I have spoke to multiple times in the past for class. He's very afraid when it comes to emotional topics such as this. So what do you think about caring for the dead? Do you think its important that the family sees and touches the body after death? " I have never done that. If I go to a funeral I just sit mad far away. I hate seein people like that cuz its like a week ago they were still alive. Its hard to go up there and see the person because they look different and they feel like they are fake and they say nothing so its weird. I think it is important to respect the dead in every way we can though." Is there any tradition your family has that shows respect for the dead. " well we usually all get together and just sit in our house kind of silent but then someone pulls out a picture or we just all talk about the person who died and then it becomes a memory thing and we relive the memories of the person so we feel like they are still with us."

I looked at the answers and I found something worth quoting in the first interview. I saw that my friend saied that in order to live a meaningful good life we must lower our concious. That was very interesting because living with a lower conscious may mean that we die happier. I feel like this was very important and that it can depict the way we treat the dead. We may either respect them for the way they lived or we may not becuaw we may feel that the way they lived wasn't up to par with everyone else. This topic is very tough because most of my friends did not expect this to be asked and most people don't think about this.

hw 46 initial thoughts on the care of the dead

Why is it that religion plays such a big factor in the care of the dead? I think that the reason why is because we all want that sense of security in that our loved ones will be looked after and our religions make us follow the traditions of caring for the dead. Things such as cleansing the body and preparing it.

I also am curious as to what spiritual feelings the morticians and funeral directors get out of seeing the dead in multiple states. I feel that it brings them a sense of peace and they do not see pain in death.

I wonder why we in america choose to isolate our dead in sites that are gated from the public and that are very isolated from us. When my aunt passed away we drove for about an hour and a half to see her and I feel that this is done on purpose because death is scary and people do not want to see it around while they are driving but in other countries, the dead are so close to the living that it isn't a big deal and it seems to bring peace to the families who mourn. I know that I wish I could see my aunt more often and I would feel more connected to her if I did but its like in america nobody wants us to see the dead even if it is our own families which is why we tend to forget about them so easily.

I am curious as to the main process of cleaning and preparing the bodies for viewing. I know that in america they drain the blood out of the body and fill it with a preservative which keeps the body in a wax like state for a temprary time so they don't decompose. How is our way of preparing the dead different from other countries.

I wonder why my mother always has these dreams about people who have died. I wonder how she deals with it because I know I wouldn't be able to. Why does my mom always have these images and experience these spiritual things when she sleeps? I noticed that in my family my mom has always been right about family. For example the night my uncle passed away my mom rushed me to the hospital with her because the night befor she said that she had a dream that the day we were going to visit him was going to be his last day alive. Sure enough as soon as he saw all of us one by one at his bedside, (me being the last one with him) he passed away. The hardest part was that it was me and him and he looked at me straight in my eyes and he passed away. I know that once I got up and took a few steps away it struck me that he was no longer here. As soon as I got in the elevator I broke down yelling and crying because my uncle just died right in front of my eyes iliterally. That night though we all gathered in the hospital and we all managed to smile and go home as if he was still with us and I felt as if he was. This is why I believe that nobody ever really dies and that we all live on as a form of energy and my family thinks the same things so its interesting to see how in my family we believe that but some others don't. I feel that I am going to have a lot that I will want to explore during this unit because I really believe that what I know about caring for the dead now is not even a percent of what I should know.

hw 45 reply to comment

Rigel. Thank you for taking the time to write a very detailed blog. I agree with your point that people are naive about their situations and this is what I uncovered throughout the project. Also the point about summer school helped me understand more because yes in summer school there were a few pregnant teenagers mostly latin and yes they did fit a stereotype if not many of them. To answer your question, I feel that latin women do not have kids when they are most knowledgeable meaning at a yonger age. I feel that they have kids because they force themselves to be significant and this is one way to do it. I feel that it is an attention thing but also a situational thing. Sometimes these teens get caught up and they feel its cute to be pregnant and feeling woozy in every class, but to me I find it upsetting because they seem to degrade a whole culture and that makes me feel like latin women have no hope. This is just the way I feel about things like teen pregnancy. Thank you for your comments.

Hw 44 comments

Luz, I enjoyed reading your post. The way that you spoke about how us as adults must care for those in need was very significant. No matter if the child wasn't your brother, the way you guys still took care of him showed me that it does take a village to raise a baby and you guys taking him in to your life to help raise him is very crucial and I feel that Ryan learned while being surrounded with family. I also enjoyed your post because I can relate to it because I was the baby who would always be in other peoples homes while my mom worked and I learned a lot about my family because I was surrounded by many people at one time. Overall great post and project.

Rigel, I liked your project and enjoyed listening to your presentation. You really touched on the topic of single mothers and how many single mothers out there raise their children differently yet they are all connected. I liked how you spoke about family values and that the man in the relationship I distracted from those values and you also supported that with contesting it to 1960's tradition of family. Overall I liked your project because you said you were raised by mostly women and your mother also like I was and I feel that it is important to respect mothers for sacrificing so mich especially when the other half of the childs life isn't there to help. One suggestion is to maybe focus more on the single mother. I felt that you spoke well about birth and how women do birth but I feel that ur topic was more about single mothers. Great project either way .

Matt, I thought your letter was very powerful and thought provoking. The way you spoke about women in poverty raising children and how it isn't right that there are so many poverty stricken mothers was very unique because we really didn't cover this topic but I'm glad you did. I enjoyed reading the statistics in your letter because they were something that sparks amazement or shock in people. Overall great project. A suggestion I have is that maybe for another project like this you should make a letter or maybe create a law and go in depth with it. Overall great post.

hw 42 pregnancy and birth project

so why do we do it? Why is it that we choose tho go to hospitals instead of having midwives. Do we as Americans feel safer being in institutions rather than being in the hands of one woman who uses no special tools. Midwives have been around for many years, but why have they not been publicized more as a safer alternative to hospitals? I feel that as Americans we choose hospitals because they are all we know. We only go to hospitals for anything that involves crises in our lives. Whether we are hurt or giving birth. Even though midwives provide mothers to be with a very interesting birthing experience that may hurt or be orgasmic, we choose to be surrounded by men and women in gloves and masks ripping babies out of the ones we love. WE are so use to this because we feel security for those moments when we feel unsafe.

In America we see birth asa an experience that is too scary because of the fact that a life is coming out of someone and it is scary for some What if one cannot afford a a hospital, what do we do? It is hard to make decisions but i feel that it is as easy as asking yourself if you are getting a midwife for yourself or for the baby. Sometimes i feel that a person wants to go to a hospital because we want to feel ok for ourselves first and then the baby. Also the same thing with a midwife but that may be so that the baby is ok and then you come next. People view midwifery as dangerous and unsafe because we feel that a women coming to help you in stretching and other exercises are bad. Even though they are trained almost as much as doctors are. I want to look at the idea of midwives through latin perspective and how midwifery is a taboo for us.

In my family nobody i know of has ever given birth by a midwife. I asked my mother why and she said because she never knew about a midwife. She first got pregnant at the age of 18 and she really had no idea what to do so the traditional hospital birth was the only option she had. As for my brother and I, we were born the same way, through a hospital. My family doesn't belive in midwifery birthing because it seems akward to us. We dont like the idea that a woman comes to our home and helps us out, it just seems weird and unecessary. I feel that in American society hospitals are the route to go because a hospital has the security in case things go wrong where it can be fixed. Also because hospital births are very common, almost as common as seeing a Mcdonalds within walking distance of us. Midwifery on teh other hand is seen as strange and funny to us. I asked my Aunt who is currently pregnant and asked her if she would ever think about getting a midwife and she said," haha are you crazy, how do i look stretching my fat belly in front of chris?" She has another son and she wouldnt want a midwife because her family will see her doing these things and think she is weird. Also she has this idea where something may go wrong. If something went wrong like we saw in the cnn clip, i dont think my aunt would be able to handle it, conisdering what happend last year. On wham.com i read an artical fdetailing three reasons why having a midwife was not good. It stated that midwives are not trained for high risk births and carry only basic childbirth tools. The idea of this is iffy to some because they always have a thought in the back of their mindws that what if their baby is at risk, will the midwife be able to help. As we saw in th "business of being born" the mother who had a pound baby. The fact that this happened and the midwife didn't see was pretty scary. The mother at 5 months old was very small and that was even pointed out by her freind and if her friend can spot that but a trained midwife can't then there is a problem. In latin culture having a midwife isn't an option because many latin women don't like the idea of having a lady rushing in at many hours of the night checking on the mom. Also from what i see from my life and other people, Latin women are very preocupied so they find no time in the whole midwife movement. ALso many spanish women don't know about midwives. Latin women tend to follow norms and tradition so any other research that ma be beneficial is never discovered.

Along with researching the idea of midwifery as a taboo, I looked at the pros of having a midwife in relation to spanish people. I found that a midwife can cost much less than a hospital and this is always good and not only for spanish women but for everyone. Another advantage that i found on wham.com is that a midwife is fully attentive to your baby. Doctors are very busy and have many other things on their mind but a midwife plans their schedule based on your needs. What latin women like to do is that they like to not feel pain and they like the security that a doctor provides. When i asked my family what they thought about the idea that doctors sometimes tell us lies just to get more money and everyone was surprised. Sometimes doctors use drugs because they get more money since the shots cost tons of money. The doctor fuels the ideas that women are going to feel pain. A hospital enviroment sweats out the aura of pain. People sick, people dying, people giving birth. It is all scary and when my mom told me how the doctor kept reminding her about the drugs when she was pregnant with my brother, it didn't shock me. The hopsital is made as a capitalist institution like a Mcdonalds or fast food joint. We are offered a menu of operations and procedures just like a restaurant. It is a factory of get in get out.

I also looked at teh idea of latin women getting pregnant at younger ages. 52 percent of latin women got pregnant at least once before the age of 20. Why is this valid? This shows that latin women are too young to understand birt. Many times the birth is unexpected and the woman goes throuh with it because they do not like the idea of getting an abortion or any other idea. Some women are babies themselves giving birth. When we are that young and giving birth, one doesnt take time to read a book on midwifes and there isnt alternatives to a hospital. It is hard to understand what they want when they do not know themselves. That statistic from the nationalcampaign.org was not shocking either because birth is very common at early ages in latin culture and it is common for hospital birth because we are naiive or sometimes uneducated about other options.

It is not tradition to seek a midwife in my culture and the fact that sometimes a person is uneducated doesnt help. Latin women choose their path because they can be afraid, or they just don't know any better. I feel that an education about these things are imprtant. Many women want children but the fact that we do not learn about these things in school, it is very hard to decide on what is best. It is time to change that and also the way that latin women have birth at young ages.