hw 59 prom

Well on Thursday was the sof prom and I decided not to go to it. I don't like the whole idea of getting dressed up and being uncomfortable for hours. I also thought about my money and how I didn't want to waste all of it because I didn't want my mom or dad to pay for an even where I probably wouldn't have fun. When I spoke to people who went to prom, most of them had lost their voices. They also said that prom was okay but it wasn't magical and they said that the people who didn't go to prom really didn't miss anything important. What I did instead was go to internship then movies and then kareoke. I had a blast and I wasted less that 60 dollars and still got home at the same time as every person who went to the after party except I probably came more sober than the majority of kids who went. I feel that prom is the night to go crazy and not be judged. I don't like that though. I'm the kind of person who likes to have a good time but substances are not needed for me to have a good time or to provide a good time for other people. I feel that they give people excuses to act silly and do things they wouldn't do in their right mind. Teens in this day and age feel that to have fun means to drink and smoke and just lose your mind. Its fun if you can do that but maintain control, otherwise it can get dangerous. I had a great time with my group of friends and I feel that even though most of us have never really hung out before prom night was the night where we all bonded and became friends. We all had fun and we all went home super late but not one minute of that Thursday night was boring for anyone I think. From what I heard, prom was a great night, the afterparty was great too, but there is not one part of me that regrets not going to either even. I am happy for the people who went to both events and I am happy for the people who didn't and still had fun doing their own thing. Me not going to prom doesn't mean I am going to miss every event similar to prom. I just feel like in my four years of school I did not have such good memories that I had to go to prom to celebrate them. All of my good memories happened outside of school in manhattan and that is where I spent my time. I got the chance to go to a kareoke place I never been to before and a neighborhood I've never been to. I got to eat lunch at 5am at a diner with friends. I got to see 2 drunk sailors who just got into a fight with someone and had blood on their uniforms. I thought they never even got drunk, but they do. That night I got to experience so many different things instead of sit in a room celebrating something. I had fun. I saved money as well as have fun. I feel that for other events similar to prom are events I probably won't miss. I mean high school is such a small accomplishment in life that many people will probably forget about the prom soon, unless something unforgettable happened to them, positive or negative. I am glad that everyone enjoyed their nights and according to facebook.com the sof prom got some very good reviews and I'm glad that people had fun. As for me, I don't regret anything I did on prom night.

hw 58 interviews

For this homework I spoke to my mom and to my older brother who had very different stories. First up I sopke to my mom. Here was the interview

Hi mom, did you ever go to prom?

No. I never did because my parents didn't like the idea. also they didn't want to give me money. Back when I was in school it was so hard to do good. We didn't have computers and when they came out many people couldn't afford them. My father would always give me money and sometimes if he didn't I didn't complain but they never let me do anything. Prom was something I wish I could have experienced for the fact that it your last time having fun with your friends and celebrating 4 years of emotion and good times. Prom is the night where everyone looks back on their high school career and reflect on the way that everyone made it to prom and they are all having a good time.

Why do you force me to go to prom?

I want you and all of your brothers to go because I want you guys to get the experience that I never did. I wish I went to prom and I would always give you as much money necessary for having fun and I want you guys to enjoy yourself and I think you might regret it if you don't go.

Why do you think prom is so important?

It is the day where people can be flashy and act proper. I also feel like you discover a lot about yourself when you go. You see how you can dance or to connect with people on a deeper level. You are spending a few hours with these kids and dancing and getting comfortable with everyone and it is important that you feel that connection.

Do you think that prom is a night to be selfish and it is kind of okay?

Yes. The girls want to dress up and feel pretty while the guys dress up and try to look as sharp as possible. Along with that you have the kids who want the spotlight on themselves the whole night and then the girls who dress up with half of their back showing and they try to get attention. Also I feel that people think that things will happen or they hope things will happen that they look foward to. The things that people think are going to happen usually only happen in movies and sometimes the people at prom don't think realistically.

So you think prom is a time to be selfish. Do you think that prom can be the last time a teen can escape from realitiies and worries?

I think so. Most kids that go are 17 years old and they are trying to have the most fun before they turn 18 and prom is the night to do that. Its like when you live in the amish and then when you turn a certain age and you can leave into a different world where you are unfamiliar to everything. Most kids rarely stay out and part and drink and then eat something while being in a limo. Prom is the time where people can get a break from normal boring life and especially it is the time right before adulthood so I feel it is a wonderful transition.

BROTHER

so you went to prom how was it for you ?

ohh my gosh it was so much fun I wish I could do it again.

why do you think you enjoyed your prom?

because mostly every senior that I was friends with went so it was more emotional, and see everybody dressed up was very exciting

do you think the prom is sort of like a transition from teenage life into adulthood ?

yes I do I feel like the whole weekend of prom is the week in word you have the most fun in high school and you can do mostly whatever you want and you feel free. you feel like a free spirit and I think that is very important because when you become an adult life becomes more intense and you have limited possibilities and the whole prom ceremony and the after party is just the way to escape from every problem that you have.

do you think the people who don't go to prom are looked down upon and do you think that the reason is because people feel like they haven't transitioned into adulthood properly?

I feel like sometimes kids are looked down upon and sometimes its like when you tell someone you aren't going they yell at you and see you differently. I feel that prom is when everyone becomes fake towards eachother and emotions are put aside so that everyone has fun. I know that people in my school who didn't go to prom where not even paid attention to because prom was the time when everyone got together and bonded and its like if you didn't go then you have no relationship to any of the other kids.

Do you feel that prom is memorable because of the dancing and emotional connection or is there something else that people remember more?

I think prom is remembered because of the after prom. People get dressed up and dance for 3 hours but after that kids want to go get wasted and live life because its fun to drink and smoke and have sex nowadays after prom. I feel prom is more of an excuse rather than an enjoyable occasion. Kids use prom as an excuse to drink and not come home and cause trouble but the parents let them do it because they just want their kids to have fun. I remember when I went to my prom I came home 3 days later. I barely remembered anything from the actual prom but the after party was amazing and the best part was when we all went to the beach and crashed overnight there. Those are the moments you wish to live forever but you can't and I feel that me getting to experience that is a beautiful thing.

So I'm not going to prom. What do you think?

I think that's dumb but you do whatever you want. I think you would have fun but its your choice.

After these interviews I got a clear sense of what each of my responders were basically saying. Prom is a time to live with no regret and to try new things. We all change our state of being for about 6 hours and its okay because we are all just living according to the occassion. People do things at prom that have not importance but kids want that feeling of being free for a night and prom permits that to happen. I'm not going to prom and I feel that I won't regret it because prom is one even out of a series of events in my life. I don't think I will be missing much. Maybe one day I may say that I wish I went but for now I feel that I am making the right choice. Ill make sure that missing prom will be a choice in which I enjoy making and for now it seems that missing prom won't be such a big deal.

hw 57 prom initial thoughts

Well for this unit I have actually been pretty excited. I thought about this unit for a while and I really was interested in how we can possibly discuss prom and the social practices behind proms. To me prom always seemed dumb but as it approaches I feel like I will regret not going. To me prom is the time where we can all be selfish and say the things that we want or that we want to do but when we think about it prom cannot be a selfish thing because majority of people have dates so to be selfish would mean that both people would probably have no fun. Someone on class said that prom is the time where we emulate celebrities and I feel that is very true. We dress up and feel important, we act like we are important as well and we splurge our parents money on one night and we retunr home and hope we have some awesome stories to tell. Prom is a business and it doesn't care whether you have fun or not. . I thought about the steps to prom and how it was planned like a mission. How we all plan it out perfectly but in between every step there are many substeps that can lead to a bad prom or a better one. As for me I am not going to prom and I hope that doesn't upset my mom. She always wanted me to go and she sort of forced it on my older brother which enjoyed his prom a lot. She knows that I am different and I don't like to surround myself with people who party. I'm the person to stay home rather than go out and party because that's just how I am. Since my mom didn't go to her prom she wants me and my little bro to go and enjoy the night but I rather not because I hate making plans and then they get ruined so to save myself I rather not go. I feel that the way to enjoy prom is if you actually have a strong bond with the people at your school. It makes prom more emotional seeing all of your friends dressed up and looking fresh. There's more of a brotherhood bond with the guys and a sisterhood bond with the girls but I feel that in this school the brother and sister bond isn't too strong. Maybe with some people but since most of the kids in this school have known eachother for seven years it is hard for someone who came 4 years ago to all of a sudden be brotherly or sisterly with someone who's been here longer. There is social outcasting in this school in which it can make prom bad for anyone and I am willing to bet that at this upcoming prom there will be groups that separate themselves from the rest. It will be like a lunchroom setting in which there's the cool crowd and then the uncool crowd. There will be many akward moments and maybe some fun ones but overall I feel that prom is not for everyone and its not for me. Plus I don't think its the end of the world if I don't go. I rather go to internship. 3 questions I would like to explore is if there is any emotional connection between dates or is it just strictly business? What is the importance of prom for a college transition? Since when did prom become a celebration of getting intoxicated and not remembering half of the night. Is it just a new york city thing?

extra credit six feet under

Six feet under season 4 ep. 8

The show personifies death as a business. Also they make it seem as if it strikes at any time. The show cpatures death as unknown and harsh.

In the first few minutes of the show there was a lot of sexual activity. Other than that there was this man james who died in his car. He was about 80 years old and he just died in his car. There was no explanation behind his death. The scary part was when the guy jogging dound the man dead inside of his car. The guy seemed as if he were embalmed in that slouched position

Later on in the episode we find that the man who passed away was a civil engineer who his family said drove himself to his funeral. He drove into the funeral home and died and he seemed wealthy. He has a nice suit, pristine vintage car and he had a pretty good job. What his family said was that he didn't want to burden them with work when he died so he basically predetermiend his destiny and saved his family from deciding what to do so that now his family only has to greive and keep his car witbh them. It reminds me of the way that funeral directors operate. The way that the man planned things out was as if he knew exaclty when he was going to die and he didn't fight it. He accepted death and unlike many people in our society he wasn't afraid of it. His funeral was more of a joyous occasion rather than a funeral. When we have funerals they are quiet and full of tears. His funeral was full of clapping and singing. The two different cultures have very different views. This episode was more about relationships between couples rather than death. I guess you can say that everyone has a death of a relationship. The lesbian relationship crumbled. The 2 guys realtionship was dying and the man who cheated on his wife is having a bad time to. I feel like it is trying to convey the meaning that death is where we finally can be free and not stressed. Reltionships are what we get into and sacrifice a piece of ourself to make things work.

Six feet under season 4 ep 9

This episode starts with a comic book collector getting crushed by a large shelve. he was 35 years old. The show demonstrates death as being unexpected and untimely.

This episode is about mending the relationships from the last episode. Everyone is moving on and people are still dying. This shows that we all go through our problems but the world doesn't stop moving because of someone and their problems.


This episode shows that respecting the wishes of those who are deceased are very important. The collector wanted to die with his rarest comic book buried with him and even though the man he was talking to wanted the comic so bad and could have taken it, he gave it to the funeral directors so that they can bury him with the comic. This means that they believe that bhe wants this comic with him and if he didn't he wouldn't rest in peace.

Six feet under season 4 ep 10

This episode was about how they all move on from their hurt relationships and the confessions are released. The mamy girls father moves in with a woman who he had a relationship with before her current boyfriend had been with her. After their relationship ended she started over. The funeral director is finally going to see his children again and is trying to do better in his life.

This episode is mainly about how we all mess up things in our life but we try to fix them. I feel like the characters being surrounded by death makes them realize how precious family and love is. To live unhappily with regret isn't worth it. They don't want to die unexpectedly and have things that should have been done in life. The people want to all have healthy relationships and they try to make it work but its tough when the past comes up. I can realte very well to this episode. Especially the scene where ruth goes back to her husband and they discuss love and making eachother feel special again. It was very similar to something I experienced a lot of. The feeling of being unwanted and taken for granted will make anyone want to leave their life. After all we mostly don't know what we have until its gone.

hw 56 project comments

Hey ariel, I really liked your post. It was full of color and it was fun to read. I liked that it was organized neatly into sections and the pictures made me want to continue reading. I think that if you put pictures of the cemeteries that would have been cool so people know what they are looking at and reading about. Other than that you did a great job.

http://ariib17.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html?showComment=1305759842533#c160176592776487853



Your post was packed with info that made it seem like the childbirth book we read but instead it was about death. I felt like I was reading a guide and it was so informative. I feel that you put tons of effort into this and your sources were very well put. This blog post included many aspects of death and how we should handle it and you did a great job covering the multiple routes one can take

http://stephengxyz.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55.html?showComment=1305760170072#c3388734788066116539
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
These are the comments from my mentor and protege.

Mentor

Hi matt, afte reading you homework I realized something out you that I never knew. You like to write. You also love to express your ideas. I really liked how you brought together most ideals from our family. Such ideas like what your grandma said and how we believe in spirits. I loved how you recited the stories about me and my sister experiencing ghosts and spirits of relatives. You made me read the death book and I felt so sad, and then you show me the stuff you got from the death experts and you looked so shocked. I was amazed that you would learn about this in school. It is so interesting and I wish I could have learned what you and your classmates do

Protege

Hey matt. I read your blog post and it is so cool how you write about things like death. I kno me and you talk about it a lot on the phone and we discuss weird things about the world and stuff but you really like doing things like blogs. I can tell you have so much to say and sometimes you don't get to say it. I'm so glad to have read your blog because it gives me tips and I feel so smart when I read your blogs because I know what you are talking about because me and you have spoken about it before. One tip of advice for next time I think you should definitely look at more religions. I would love to read that. Bye!


This was the type of blog i was hoping i was going to get to read tonight. I was looking for someone who was brave enough to put their own personal opinions on death and dying up on their blog. I actually really like your take on death and what happens too. I think that you make a good point with the physics plug in, and you were even able to use websites to further your opinion. This didn't seem like mindless rambling, it was planned and researched out of things that you have been taught. I think that is what andy is going for with his class, is to have us be able to take opinions from other sources, and then use those ideas to mold and shape our own so we can have a more complete set of views that don't seem close minded and ignorant. Although your grandma may haunt your dreams from the afterlife like she plans on, i think it is interesting that it is something that she knows she will do. I think you really had some great insights here and i enjoyed reading your blog.
Sam

extra credit harold and maude

After watching the film I felt very diifferent. I kind of saw death as never being peaceful There were sometimes during this unit when I thought that the way people die and how they celebrate deaty can be something sad but people embrace it as a part of life and they thought that it should be something we celebrate and try to enjoy. Even though its sad. In the movie, it seemed that maude, harold, and the mother were all different. Harold was obsessed and facinated by death. Maude didn't care when people died but she would always care for other thing dying such as plants. She also was very close to living very naturally meaning she didn't waste things, she cared for animals and her body. She lived eating organic things. She hated when other things died but when people died she didn't seem to comment. They can both relate because harold and maude both have this obsession with death

Harolds mother was the one who didn't care about her son doing these things. Its like she didn't even consider death ever happening which was why she was never scared and she didn't mind that her son acted like killing himself. She only showed emotion when he messed up her bathroom. Harold's mom seemed to be naiive about death and she didn't realize it even when her son tried to make her realize it. It was as if she didn't want to accept death as a real thing which is why she ignored it.

The significance of death in the three characters is that harold and maude are surrounded by death and they understand it. Harold concentrated more on illness and dying while maude focused more on care of the dead. She cared for flowers and plants like the one in the back of the stolen truck she got. Harold focused more on ways to hurt himself and it consumed his life and his relationships with other people. The mom seemed to try and break harols vicious ways but he didn't listen which made me think that harold is trying to symbolize death as inevitable in many forms while his mom symbolized us as society trying to avoid even though it is a part of us.

The theme of the funerals in the play seemed to be very sad and depressing. It rained and was very dark out. I felt that harold and maude were the alternative to emotions. They didn't seem to be affected by death because even thoguh they were physically close to it, they weren't actually close to the people dying. They made it seem like funerals shouldn't be sad times but the people there make it sad. Maude seemed to appreciate life and the beauty while harold appreciated death. As he said, "I enjoyed being dead." Maude tries to convice harold to love life and I feel that since she is older, she has lived better and experienced more than harold. I feel that he is so obsessed with death because nobody helps him to experience life and that's where maude comes in.

This movie was more interesting than I originally thought. When harold was facing death with someone who was important to him, he feared it because he didn't want her to die. He was obsessed with death but once it came to him he automatically cried. This makes me feel like no matter how much we prepare for it we will still be unprepared for it. Its not everyday where we love someone such as harold loved maude. Once we lose that person we lose who we were. We feel that we exist onlyy lif they do. Harold felt like the only way he existed is if maude. He loved her and she died making harold all alone again as if nobody cared for him. This makes me feel like we can all talk about it but once it happens to someone close to us it changes who we are. Harold not being with maude I think made him appreciate life a bit more than in the beginning of the movie.

hw 55 culminating project.

theological perspectives vs spirits in the sky

My family believes in god. We all believe that there are spirits of dead which surround us all in every way. My grandma always says that she's gonna be watching us after she dies. She believes that our bodies will go away but who we are is embodied in our spirit. She thinks that our spirits will live on forever we just won't be visible to the living. My mother always told me stories about how she felt her dead uncle pull her leg while her and her sister slept. My aunt also told me stories about how she woke up in my old apartment to the sight of a woman in a white gown standing right above her. She told me how she didn't want to move and that the woman looked just like my dads mother. She always tells me that it was my dad's mom visiting him. All these stories freak me out but I feel that it is possible that the dead are still amongst the living. I feel that we are all a form of energy. In physics they say energy cannot be created nor destroyed. Only transferred or transformed. I feel that energy is with us when we are born. The moment we breathe. When we die that energy just comes out of us as a spirit. I really believe that after we die we go through another phase in life. Sort of like being ressurected. We may come bak as another person or another creature. I feel that it is not crazy to think this. Being ressurected is a way for us to live again without realizing that we even died. Roman catholic belief says, "The "souls of those who have died in the state of grace suffer for a time a purging that prepares them to enter heaven." Souls spend time in Purgatory until fully cleansed of
the temporal consequences of sin that were accumulated during life. (Religioustolerance.org). This is exaclty what I think. I feel like once we die we float up into the sky and we face a panel of judges who discuss where you shall spend the rest of eternity. The highest authorities in the sky will cleanse your soul and rid you of every wrong thing and then we will either be clean enough for heaven or we will be spending time in hell for terrible sins. It is scary to think this way but I feel comfortable thinking this way because it gives me a sense of security. I think religion in general gives people a sense of security in that they know that their souls will be saved and they will spend eternity in paradise. I researched catholic christians and it said that they believe in some sort of heaven and hell and they also believe in purgatory which is like a place where people spend some time if they have unconfessed sins. It is like even when we die we aren't free. There are people judging us and sending us to places. I feel that we have all lived before just as different a different energy. For example my physical being has existed before maybe millions of years ago but it was a different spirit in my body. I feel that when I die I will come back as something else. Depending on what I have done in life I may come back as a very honorable thing or not. My mother believes that snakes are the devils pet and she thinks that if we were to be ressurected and come back as a snake, it is the worst thing because snakes are slimy and they represent evil.

In my family we all feel that the dead have powers that we can only dream of. The dead have the power to insert themsleves into our dreams or into our reality. This is how we come up with the idea of ghosts and spirits. catholics believe that they are 2 different things. To be a ghost means that we are evil and ghosts are considered to be sinners and people who work with the devil. To be a spirit means to be at peace and to be a guardian to those you love the most. Spirits are gods angels while ghosts are the devils demons. Putting beliefs into the death inustry makes for people to become scared into doing good. We get scared into not sinning and living well lives because we don't want to be ghosts. My grandma thinks she will come back as a spirit to watch after us. After the death of someone in my family we always feel like to forget about them is the best thing but they have not forgotten about us. Nobody really knows the answer to what happens after death. Religion freaks may believe that we all come back as a certain thing or that we will live in paradise and have many virgins by our side. All of these stories cannot be validated but we accept them because we are afraid. We don't want to think that after we die all we see is darkness for eternity. There has to be something else in store for us. Some religions think that we will come back as something more magical and honorable. Other religions such as catholiscism believe that we will live on as spirits and and entities which cannot communicate with the living but can manipulate the living. The biggest mystery in life is what happens when we die. We hear stories of people having outer body experiences and seeing white lights. Is this true or is this something said to keep us feeling happy that life goes on. Whatever happens when we die is a big secret which cannot ever be validated because evidence is very slim and very forgeable. What we need to understand is that we all live the ways we want to and that we all have a death that awaits us but it shouldn't stop us from living, it should enoccourage us to do greater and whether we are ressurected or transformed into energy, we should appreciate what we have and death will surprise us all as we may all experience it differently depending on the individual.

hw 52 third of the book

this part of the book was the saddest part. In this final part the author spoke about how families regret the things they said and did to family members but by the time they realized it, it was too late. The story about the father and his little daughter was tough because he would always tell her things like, "its bad enough you are a girl but you don't have to be dumb too." Saying this to a 4 year old is unaccceptable. He hated the fact that he had a daughter because as a working man he wanted to get his whole family involved in working but with a girl as a child it was one less person helping. She was killed by a car and it was tough because she was so badly hurt that she was bald because surgeons had to perform surgery. It didn't work. She died and the father couldn't control himself. He went so far as to going to her grave and digging her up with his hands but he couldnt because there were too many rocks. He regrets the way he treated her and by the time he realized that she was a beautiful young girl who wanted to be loved, she was already dead. He then says, "I would do anything to get her back." This is something that happens a lot where we treat people bad until they are gone and we feel like crap for treating them the ways we did. It is true that you don't know what you have until its gone.

Reading this made me sad because I thought back to the things I said to people and the things I wish I had said. Like my neighbor who was 21 and passed away a day after new years 2011. Me and him were so different yet I looked at him like he was a big brother. We would hang out and he was scary to me at first but I realized that he was a good kid and he just grew up not knowing better. We had really cool times and he made me laugh and when he passed away I was so shocked because its like you see this person one day and the next they are laying motionless on a hospital bed. Its so surreal. The one thing I regret was not paying my final respects to him and I feel really bad because he was a really great guy who literally gave me so much wisdom and guidance in the time I was living here. He was like my guide and for him to leave I was angry. I wish I could have been at his funeral and said one last thing to him but I didn't and I feel terrible about that. I had a dream about him the other night and he looked happy he told me he was okay and I believed him. I told him what I had to say and then I woke up. I felt so weird and I felt like he was listening. I plan on making a trip to see him someday soon at his grave. Its just so sad when things like this happen because it makes me feel bad. It makes me feel like I betrayed him by not being there.

hw 51 second part of the book

this part spoke about how june nadle had a roomate named erma who soon became her very close friend. Erma got really sick especially because she had a heart murmur. Doctors had trouble giving information on and it soon became an illness that had a 50 percent chance of survival after she had done surgery. She went through with the operation and got sick once again but this time it was fatal and her friend erma died. She was to be embalmed but june couldn't do it because she was way too emotional. She found that emotions impact her and her job. She couldn't bear to see her friend dead and being embalmed so she chose not to do it and that shows how death can impact your psycological state." Death and tragedy is a reality of life but together we must face it. In order to heal and continue living our lives." This quote from the author herself shows that we all greive in many ways and we know that we will die but it becomes so surreal and threatening when it strikes out of the blue and takes someone you love. To understand death and to speak about it will make the fear factor that we all have about death lower because we will have knowledge and not be so naiive about it. As hard as it is to speak about, we all have to do it. Maybe it will help us so we live more significantly instead of just getting by in life.It was very sad reading this because its like we all have a weak spot and no matter who we are or what we do there will always be something to impact us.

hw 50 first third of the book

The first third of the book was the descprition of the authors view on death and her experiences with death. She views death in the perspective of a science and not as an emotional thing for herself. Her work consists of many death encounters with many people mainly older people, and she analyzes them and their experiences. It seems that the people vary from being satisfied or happduring their experience with death but others feel pity for the person dying.

"Thanks to lucy's foresights and good humor, her family and friends were allowed to experience how death can be so wonderfully included in the process of living.

"By talking about her passing, thinking about it, and acting on the reality of deathin her future, lucy provided her sons with coping mechanisms for what the future would assuredly bring."

"He was such a nice man with gentle ways"

Something interesting about this book was how the author makes u feel sad. She uses language that makes u feel as if u were with her doing everything. Another interesting thing was that when the first lady was spoken about and how she died it was like the author was glad for her passing and it set the book off for being a good vibe book and then we get into deaths that make one feel depressed. Its a book that I can tell is going to be like ina mays childbirth book in which its going to be a lot of stories then maybe some facts that will make me bored but for some reason I would rather read this book because it just seems so much more relevant to me and my life. I love how when I read this book I can connote ideas into my life because I have experienced deaths in my life and I try to analyze peopless emotions but it gets to the point where I can't even focus on emotions but instead I am creating my own. Now this book gives me the satisfaction of reading about what a death expert notices from more of a scientific lens.

hw 48 interviews

For my interviews I spoke to my mother and my grandmother. I found very interesting things out about what my mom believes. I asked her what she thought about respect for the dead. She said, " I respect everyones wishes especially when they are written down or said in advance. As for me I want you all to respect my wishes and i want to be put in a little moselium and I want every organ donated that can be donated." I asked her if she has put thought into the way she saw her funeral going. She said that it was important that she looks natural and as if she is sleeping and that she doesn't want to be altered to the point where she cannot be recognized. The last question I asked her was if she thinks that caring for the dead and respecting their wishes is important in being satisfied living. Basically she said," I think its important that we respect what the dead want because it makes me happy knowing that they are happy even in spirit."

The next person I spoke to was my grandma and for this I told my little cousin the questions to ask her since I felt a bit weird talking about it with her. One question was if she wants to be cremated or anything special and she said, "no as long as you guys come visit me and take care of my grave I will be happy." I also asked her if she thought it was okay to disrespect what the dead wish for. She said, " yes that is something you don't want to do because a spirit is much more stronger than a living being and to upset them may not be ok." How has seeing dead family changed your views on caring for yourself?. " well seeing my sister in the coffin really hurt me and I knew that all I could do was brush her hair and cry. It made me think and not stress life because the soul will live on so caring for me when I pass away will ensure that I have a happy transition of worlds."

COMMENT ON THIS HOMEWORK TEAM! hw 47 peer perspectives on care of the dead

For this homework I decided to interview a few very close people to me. I interviewed my friend who I have known all my life. My college friend who I speak to very often. Then I spoke to my middle school friend. For the first interview I spoke to my long time friend who have a very existential mind set. I asked him what does he think about the idea that what we do know won't matter once we die. He said that he understands that which is why he loves to do what he does. He lives with few rules because he believes that to like well one must have a very small concious but still need to be smart. Another question I asked was if he and his family have any special rituals for the people who pass away in his family? He said, "no we just have the standard funeral and that's it, but I don't really go to a lot of funerals cuz I don't have so much family here." What do you think about caring for the dead? Do you think its important to treat the dead as if they were still here? " I don't know cuz that pretty scary. Once a person in my family dies then its pretty simple from there on we usually forget to see them or clean their resting place or even say their name. The memories kinda fade."

The next person I interviewed was a female college friend who I haven't known for that long. She felt weird that I asked her these questions but it was cool. I asked her if she thought that treating the dead well was important. She said, " I don't think it is because treating the live is better and more important. Once someone dies I'm not saying that we have to disrespect them I'm saying that maybe we shoudnt dwell on them for so long. Life is about survival and we are all like little bugs and once one dies we keep going so nothing really stops us from living." Have you had any special things you have done for the dead in ur family? "I don't know if we have. I mean we creamated before but is that special? We have also sent someone back to the country they were born at to make it more sentimental and it was more emotional because the person was back home so it felt like he really was just on vacation.

The last person I interviewed was my middle school friend who I have spoke to multiple times in the past for class. He's very afraid when it comes to emotional topics such as this. So what do you think about caring for the dead? Do you think its important that the family sees and touches the body after death? " I have never done that. If I go to a funeral I just sit mad far away. I hate seein people like that cuz its like a week ago they were still alive. Its hard to go up there and see the person because they look different and they feel like they are fake and they say nothing so its weird. I think it is important to respect the dead in every way we can though." Is there any tradition your family has that shows respect for the dead. " well we usually all get together and just sit in our house kind of silent but then someone pulls out a picture or we just all talk about the person who died and then it becomes a memory thing and we relive the memories of the person so we feel like they are still with us."

I looked at the answers and I found something worth quoting in the first interview. I saw that my friend saied that in order to live a meaningful good life we must lower our concious. That was very interesting because living with a lower conscious may mean that we die happier. I feel like this was very important and that it can depict the way we treat the dead. We may either respect them for the way they lived or we may not becuaw we may feel that the way they lived wasn't up to par with everyone else. This topic is very tough because most of my friends did not expect this to be asked and most people don't think about this.

hw 46 initial thoughts on the care of the dead

Why is it that religion plays such a big factor in the care of the dead? I think that the reason why is because we all want that sense of security in that our loved ones will be looked after and our religions make us follow the traditions of caring for the dead. Things such as cleansing the body and preparing it.

I also am curious as to what spiritual feelings the morticians and funeral directors get out of seeing the dead in multiple states. I feel that it brings them a sense of peace and they do not see pain in death.

I wonder why we in america choose to isolate our dead in sites that are gated from the public and that are very isolated from us. When my aunt passed away we drove for about an hour and a half to see her and I feel that this is done on purpose because death is scary and people do not want to see it around while they are driving but in other countries, the dead are so close to the living that it isn't a big deal and it seems to bring peace to the families who mourn. I know that I wish I could see my aunt more often and I would feel more connected to her if I did but its like in america nobody wants us to see the dead even if it is our own families which is why we tend to forget about them so easily.

I am curious as to the main process of cleaning and preparing the bodies for viewing. I know that in america they drain the blood out of the body and fill it with a preservative which keeps the body in a wax like state for a temprary time so they don't decompose. How is our way of preparing the dead different from other countries.

I wonder why my mother always has these dreams about people who have died. I wonder how she deals with it because I know I wouldn't be able to. Why does my mom always have these images and experience these spiritual things when she sleeps? I noticed that in my family my mom has always been right about family. For example the night my uncle passed away my mom rushed me to the hospital with her because the night befor she said that she had a dream that the day we were going to visit him was going to be his last day alive. Sure enough as soon as he saw all of us one by one at his bedside, (me being the last one with him) he passed away. The hardest part was that it was me and him and he looked at me straight in my eyes and he passed away. I know that once I got up and took a few steps away it struck me that he was no longer here. As soon as I got in the elevator I broke down yelling and crying because my uncle just died right in front of my eyes iliterally. That night though we all gathered in the hospital and we all managed to smile and go home as if he was still with us and I felt as if he was. This is why I believe that nobody ever really dies and that we all live on as a form of energy and my family thinks the same things so its interesting to see how in my family we believe that but some others don't. I feel that I am going to have a lot that I will want to explore during this unit because I really believe that what I know about caring for the dead now is not even a percent of what I should know.

hw 45 reply to comment

Rigel. Thank you for taking the time to write a very detailed blog. I agree with your point that people are naive about their situations and this is what I uncovered throughout the project. Also the point about summer school helped me understand more because yes in summer school there were a few pregnant teenagers mostly latin and yes they did fit a stereotype if not many of them. To answer your question, I feel that latin women do not have kids when they are most knowledgeable meaning at a yonger age. I feel that they have kids because they force themselves to be significant and this is one way to do it. I feel that it is an attention thing but also a situational thing. Sometimes these teens get caught up and they feel its cute to be pregnant and feeling woozy in every class, but to me I find it upsetting because they seem to degrade a whole culture and that makes me feel like latin women have no hope. This is just the way I feel about things like teen pregnancy. Thank you for your comments.

Hw 44 comments

Luz, I enjoyed reading your post. The way that you spoke about how us as adults must care for those in need was very significant. No matter if the child wasn't your brother, the way you guys still took care of him showed me that it does take a village to raise a baby and you guys taking him in to your life to help raise him is very crucial and I feel that Ryan learned while being surrounded with family. I also enjoyed your post because I can relate to it because I was the baby who would always be in other peoples homes while my mom worked and I learned a lot about my family because I was surrounded by many people at one time. Overall great post and project.

Rigel, I liked your project and enjoyed listening to your presentation. You really touched on the topic of single mothers and how many single mothers out there raise their children differently yet they are all connected. I liked how you spoke about family values and that the man in the relationship I distracted from those values and you also supported that with contesting it to 1960's tradition of family. Overall I liked your project because you said you were raised by mostly women and your mother also like I was and I feel that it is important to respect mothers for sacrificing so mich especially when the other half of the childs life isn't there to help. One suggestion is to maybe focus more on the single mother. I felt that you spoke well about birth and how women do birth but I feel that ur topic was more about single mothers. Great project either way .

Matt, I thought your letter was very powerful and thought provoking. The way you spoke about women in poverty raising children and how it isn't right that there are so many poverty stricken mothers was very unique because we really didn't cover this topic but I'm glad you did. I enjoyed reading the statistics in your letter because they were something that sparks amazement or shock in people. Overall great project. A suggestion I have is that maybe for another project like this you should make a letter or maybe create a law and go in depth with it. Overall great post.

hw 42 pregnancy and birth project

so why do we do it? Why is it that we choose tho go to hospitals instead of having midwives. Do we as Americans feel safer being in institutions rather than being in the hands of one woman who uses no special tools. Midwives have been around for many years, but why have they not been publicized more as a safer alternative to hospitals? I feel that as Americans we choose hospitals because they are all we know. We only go to hospitals for anything that involves crises in our lives. Whether we are hurt or giving birth. Even though midwives provide mothers to be with a very interesting birthing experience that may hurt or be orgasmic, we choose to be surrounded by men and women in gloves and masks ripping babies out of the ones we love. WE are so use to this because we feel security for those moments when we feel unsafe.

In America we see birth asa an experience that is too scary because of the fact that a life is coming out of someone and it is scary for some What if one cannot afford a a hospital, what do we do? It is hard to make decisions but i feel that it is as easy as asking yourself if you are getting a midwife for yourself or for the baby. Sometimes i feel that a person wants to go to a hospital because we want to feel ok for ourselves first and then the baby. Also the same thing with a midwife but that may be so that the baby is ok and then you come next. People view midwifery as dangerous and unsafe because we feel that a women coming to help you in stretching and other exercises are bad. Even though they are trained almost as much as doctors are. I want to look at the idea of midwives through latin perspective and how midwifery is a taboo for us.

In my family nobody i know of has ever given birth by a midwife. I asked my mother why and she said because she never knew about a midwife. She first got pregnant at the age of 18 and she really had no idea what to do so the traditional hospital birth was the only option she had. As for my brother and I, we were born the same way, through a hospital. My family doesn't belive in midwifery birthing because it seems akward to us. We dont like the idea that a woman comes to our home and helps us out, it just seems weird and unecessary. I feel that in American society hospitals are the route to go because a hospital has the security in case things go wrong where it can be fixed. Also because hospital births are very common, almost as common as seeing a Mcdonalds within walking distance of us. Midwifery on teh other hand is seen as strange and funny to us. I asked my Aunt who is currently pregnant and asked her if she would ever think about getting a midwife and she said," haha are you crazy, how do i look stretching my fat belly in front of chris?" She has another son and she wouldnt want a midwife because her family will see her doing these things and think she is weird. Also she has this idea where something may go wrong. If something went wrong like we saw in the cnn clip, i dont think my aunt would be able to handle it, conisdering what happend last year. On wham.com i read an artical fdetailing three reasons why having a midwife was not good. It stated that midwives are not trained for high risk births and carry only basic childbirth tools. The idea of this is iffy to some because they always have a thought in the back of their mindws that what if their baby is at risk, will the midwife be able to help. As we saw in th "business of being born" the mother who had a pound baby. The fact that this happened and the midwife didn't see was pretty scary. The mother at 5 months old was very small and that was even pointed out by her freind and if her friend can spot that but a trained midwife can't then there is a problem. In latin culture having a midwife isn't an option because many latin women don't like the idea of having a lady rushing in at many hours of the night checking on the mom. Also from what i see from my life and other people, Latin women are very preocupied so they find no time in the whole midwife movement. ALso many spanish women don't know about midwives. Latin women tend to follow norms and tradition so any other research that ma be beneficial is never discovered.

Along with researching the idea of midwifery as a taboo, I looked at the pros of having a midwife in relation to spanish people. I found that a midwife can cost much less than a hospital and this is always good and not only for spanish women but for everyone. Another advantage that i found on wham.com is that a midwife is fully attentive to your baby. Doctors are very busy and have many other things on their mind but a midwife plans their schedule based on your needs. What latin women like to do is that they like to not feel pain and they like the security that a doctor provides. When i asked my family what they thought about the idea that doctors sometimes tell us lies just to get more money and everyone was surprised. Sometimes doctors use drugs because they get more money since the shots cost tons of money. The doctor fuels the ideas that women are going to feel pain. A hospital enviroment sweats out the aura of pain. People sick, people dying, people giving birth. It is all scary and when my mom told me how the doctor kept reminding her about the drugs when she was pregnant with my brother, it didn't shock me. The hopsital is made as a capitalist institution like a Mcdonalds or fast food joint. We are offered a menu of operations and procedures just like a restaurant. It is a factory of get in get out.

I also looked at teh idea of latin women getting pregnant at younger ages. 52 percent of latin women got pregnant at least once before the age of 20. Why is this valid? This shows that latin women are too young to understand birt. Many times the birth is unexpected and the woman goes throuh with it because they do not like the idea of getting an abortion or any other idea. Some women are babies themselves giving birth. When we are that young and giving birth, one doesnt take time to read a book on midwifes and there isnt alternatives to a hospital. It is hard to understand what they want when they do not know themselves. That statistic from the nationalcampaign.org was not shocking either because birth is very common at early ages in latin culture and it is common for hospital birth because we are naiive or sometimes uneducated about other options.

It is not tradition to seek a midwife in my culture and the fact that sometimes a person is uneducated doesnt help. Latin women choose their path because they can be afraid, or they just don't know any better. I feel that an education about these things are imprtant. Many women want children but the fact that we do not learn about these things in school, it is very hard to decide on what is best. It is time to change that and also the way that latin women have birth at young ages.

You find yourself at a cocktail party with the author of the book you just finished reading. To demonstrate that you really read it, you say, "Hey - thanks for writing the Ina May guide to childbirth.. Your main idea on how midwife births are safe effective and acceptable made me rethink ever going to a hospital if my wife were to ever have a child. You attacked so many negatives about midwives and you have brought so many positive aspects out that it would be nonsense for someone to ever read this book an actually continue to go to a hospital for birth.

But the author, surprised to be talking to someone who instead of sharing their own birth story actually rephrased the main idea of the text s/he spent months giving birth to asks, "Really, which parts were most effective or important for you?" When you answer, "Well, in the last third of the book you focused on the process of approaching someone with questions , which further developed your book into being anactual guide and can really help people who do not kno where to begin. You have literally made a guide that can walk someone through their entire midwife experience. But let me be more specific. Such where u wrote some questions which you listed ou on pages 308-310. In this section of the book another idea I focused on was where you spoke about maternal death beginning on page 272 and continuing on. This was a very emotional part of the book which may come off as nightmarish but at the same time very informative. The last part of you book also spoke about vaginal birth after cesarian. This part of your book was very factual and raised awareness and knowledge to those wondering. Your book is more of a guide than most other books written on this topic due to the fact that the reader feels as if you are actually speaking to them.

At this point, realizing that s/he's having a unique conversation with a serious reader of her/his book, the author asks - "But what could I have done to make this a better book - that would more effectively fulfill its mission?" You answer, "Well, let's be clear - your text sought to provide (narratives, historical analysis, journalistic analysis, policy analysis) from the perspective of a ( ....) for the book-reading-public to better understand pregnancy & birth in our culture. Given that aim, and your book, the best advice I would give for a 2nd edition of the text would be, to focus less on all of the stories of childbirth. I feel that the first part of the book is repetetive and dry. But I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing. I appreciate the immense amount of labor you dedicated to this important issue and particularly for making me think about orgasm during natural birth & techniques that hospitals avoid which ultimately are the proper solutions. Such as the hands and knees push which can get a baby out if danger arises, where as in a hospital they take other approaches. In fact, I'm likely to inform my family and friends about natural birth as a result of your book. The author replies, "Thanks! Talking to you gives me hope about our future as a society!"

hw 39 insights part 2

the major insight in these next 100 pages is that midwife practice is not terrible and that it can be pleasing to women. There are times where a women feels pleasure from giving birth and that the mind is in a state in which the pain no longer exist. This pleasure from birth is called orgasmic birth. In this part of the book the images show women as they ar giving birth and they all seem to be smiling and look like they are enjoying giving birth because it feels good.

I thought this was not possible for a woman to experience but in some cases things like this happens. it surprised me at first and i thought it was weird for a women to experience, but i think that at the moment of giving birth, feeling good may not be such a bad thing. I think its great someone experiences that during birth because it totally cahnges the mood in the room from nervous and scared to enjoyable and maybe a little bit scared.

I think orgasmic birth should be publicized. To know that it can feel good is comforting, the only problem is that not everyone experiences it so it may not be such a good idea for someone to get pregnant just so they can experience an orgasmic birth.

I think that more books should include the techniques used in birth. Ina May lists out a bunch of things women can do to ease the pain, things such as laughing, or going in warm water to help open the sphincter

Another thing that should be addressed is the fact thateating good is precious in the pregnancy process. I feel that as a whole, women feel that they can eat whatever they want since they are pregnant but its bad because the baby get nutrients from what you eat so if a woman eats pringles and honey buns all day, it can harm the baby

I like how there are pictures showing positions that can comfort the pregnant woman and these moves have been around for a very long time and it is amazing because these people had no hospitals and they all came out fine but doctors insits that hospitals are whats best.

I like the way that the author described ultrasounds and how she said that they led to cancer for babies in the 70's . This should be paid attention to for the mother to understand that there were side effects back then.

hw 38 insights from birth book

The book I am reading is called Ina May's guide to childbirth. The structure of the book is that in which it is a book that is sort of like a journal. It reminds me of an email. Peple send her stories about their experiences and they are all in this book. This book is not really a guide but more of a journal of all her favorite births, or at least the ones that were significant to her.

The major question that this book tries to answer is why is having a natural birth at a farm/ village looed down upon? It makes women feel closer to the earth and more spiritually connected to their child, so why is it so bad? I feel like the answer to that question is as easy as saying that having midwives and farms where women give birth really are not as profitable to that institution and to America in the way that hospitals are. Childbirth is a business where every cut, and every word and action a doctor makes costs money. Childbirth can cost less to the parents if they do natural birthing but of course institutions such as hospitals tend to make an argument saying that having a home/ natural birth is undafe and dangerous because god forbid something goes wron, then both the baby and mother are in jeopardy.

The main insight in the first 100 pages is that midwives and natural birth is a very surreal experience for everyone involved. The methods that these natural births follow are methods that humankind have followed for centuries. The insight is that hospital births take away from the beauty of birth. Hospitals take away from the spirituality and extacy that a mother can feel. Hospitals just take the regular approach which is to put you in a bed and inject you if you are hurting. Natural birth invloves a lot of participation and emotion that the drugs hospitals give would take away.

5 interesting aspects of birth that deserve public attention.
1. Midwives in general. They should be more popularized and women should experience natural births more often
2. the way that doctors tell you to do something because it will make them money. The truth behind why doctors tell moms to get c sections or to feed their babies formula. That should be adressed.
3. The way that some women find birth to be orgasmic. Not many people know this about having natural births. It should be said that taking the steps that a midwife tells you can make your birth more pleasurable.
4.How some drugs you take can endagner the baby and drug up your baby. The doctors use these pain killing drugs on the mother but the baby can get some of it too which means the baby will come out being under the influence kind of. Not a good way to enter this world.
5. The way how most doctors have never sat in to witness a real birth session so they really don't know what it is like to see a baby coming out, where as for the midwife, they see all of that so they can tell when something is wrong.

Ina May uses a lot to support her claim that natural birth is the way to go. The whole book is her evidence i think. In every story there may be a part that is scaring or akes the reader make a face, but at the end the person always says how beautiful and happy they were to have a natural birth, so her clain is that what people think about these nightmarish midwives and their atrocious ways really is not true.

hw 35 other perspectives on birth

The people I have interviewd are freinds and family. first I interviewed one of my friends.

QUESTION: Do you want kids?

FRIEND: yea I want kids. They're so cute and i think that having one will be good because it teaches you responsibility and being an adult. Being a parent must be hard but when yu think about it, 99 percent of people want to be prents one day.

QUESTION: Dont you think that You will be a good parent? What have you learned in your childhood that may carry on into your parenting?

FRIEND: Umm i think that i will make my kid or kids really good. I want to raise them well. I want to be strict with them so they know that respect is important. When i was growing up, i wasn't allowed to be with friends for long and my parents would always sit wit me and help me with my homework. I will be like that with m kids because they will grow up and do good in school which is very important. Also i want to be successful in my life so that i will provide a lot for my child. things that i never had, i will want to give to my kids.

QUESTION: What environment would you want your kids to be raised in. Would you want to raise your child in a specific way?

FRIEND: i dont want my kid to eat junk food at a young age because that will just mess him up. I will not spoil my kid rotten. I don't want a daughter either, i just feel like they are more responsibility and i will be very protective of her for obvious reasons. I want to be stable with a career and a wife or at least someone who i love and who loves me back. I dont want my child to be raised by only me or only the mother. I think that a double family household is the best because the baby will grow up feeling secure and knows that there are 2 important people who really care about the baby. Also i want my baby to be bilingual and i want the mother to have good genes because i want the baby to be cute not weird looking.

I noticed that with my friend, there was a lot of studdering, and that gave methe idea that really he can say all of these things but in reality, he doesnt kno what he will do. Being a parent is very hard and we can plan all we want for it, but things won't always be perfect.

The next person i spoke to was my girlfriend. I spoke to her because she always speaks about being a mom and most women i know always speak about being a mom.

QUESTION: What do you think about becoming a parent, do you want to become a parent?

GF: YES! I think being a parent is the closest we get to seeing and creating miracles. I want to have a kid so bad. Just to think that i brought him/her into this world would be the best. It helps you grow up too.

QUESTION: Do you think that being a parent is stressfull. Do you think you will be able to handle being responsible for someone besides yourself?

GF: Well yea it's going to be stressfull at times because all parents and their kids have their bad daysso it is not going to be perfect, and ye ai definitely know i can handle being responsible for my child. That's why people have to learn to be mature. And have a job! :)

QUESTION: What age do you want a baby?

GF: by the age of 22 or 24ish.

QUESTON: Don't you think that you will be too young to have a kid? 24 is pretty young, i mean you will only be a few years into pure adulthood. Why do you want to be a parent so young?

GF: Young? No. Most people hav kids while they're still in their teen years. I just don't want to be old and have a kid. I think around my mid 20's would be the perfect age.

QUESTION: Ok but don't you think thatwhen you are older you have a moe stable life?People who have kid in their 20's usually tend to become single parents most times because they are too young to know what they want in life. Do you think being older and more stable will be better for your child's future?

GF: I dont think that has anything to do with my child's future. I mean as long as i have a good paying job, not in debt, and i have time for my child, everything will be fine. Even if i do end up being a sinlge mother, it doesn't mean i won't be able to give my child what they need. They can always visit their father too i dont care! :)

QUESTION: Do you have any idea how you want your child to be raised? Are there any restrictions you have in mind for your child?

GF: Not sure. Im going to be different. I don't want mto be all on top of my child. I'm going to give them spaceand stuff. As a baby i'm going to take care of them but i will not spoil them.

What i noticed about this interview was that there were a lot of "likes" used. My girlfriend seems pretty sure about having a baby but i feel that we all do because we can all imagine ourselves being parents because we feel that all we have to do is make sure the baby is fed and clothed and taken care of with basic needs. We don't take into accout all of the activities we have to do witht them, or what to do once the baby begins school or even what to do if there is nobody to take care of the baby when the parent has things to do. I feel that young parents like the idea of being parents, but once that baby takes its' first breath, that's when things become real and we have to completel devote all of our time and energy into the child

The third person i interviewed was my mom and of course she has a lot to say because she has 2 other kids besides me and she got pregnant when she was 19.

QUESTION: Do you think you have been the best parent you can be?

MOM: well certainly not the best, but you guys aren't bad kids so i feel that i have done a good job. You and your brothers aren't on drugs or in gangs or none of that so i feel that i have led you and dsiciplined you guys into becoming men which is very imprtant.

QUESTION: What was your experience like being a mother a 19?

MOM: Well your father was so happy to be having a baby. It stopped my life from progressing though. He took me out of school where i wanted to become a nurse or go to med school. I had to make sure your brother was clothed and grew up ok. Things withme and oyour father were always bad but i managed to raise you guys well and it was also due to te fact that your grandparents would help out. I had to freedom to go out with friends because your father wanted me to be home to take care of your brother. When all of you guys were born that was when things got bad, as you remember all the fighting with your father that i had. I never wanted you guys to grow up in that situation but in seeing all of that, it made you guys aware of the world and how things were.

QUESTION: If you can go back in time what would you change abou being a mother?

MOM: I would have done better in school and tried my best. I would have raised you guys without your father because he was so violent sometimes and he barely helped with anything.

QUESTION: Was raising 3 kids a challenge for you?

MOM: Of course it was. I made sure you guys went to good schools and i made sure you guys had everything yu needed. I guess when i had you guys, i had to grow up and do it quick but i do nt regret ever having you guys and i am happy that you are all good people who care and who are not out in the streets with other kids. I have done my best to raise you guys, but now you guys are all older and now it is up to you guys to watch out for eachother and to make sure im okay now! :) I brought you up but now you are almost 18 and you have a good view on the world so that is why i give you the freedom to do things and i want you guys to experience life but i will still baby you guys if i have to.

After the interview with my mom i realized that she has raised us well and i want to be a parent like she was.she hustled to get us to the point we are at now. Being a kid, I witnessed what my mom faced on a daily basis and she is a strong woman. Raising 3 kids practically alone and doing such a good job at it must have been hard and i cannot believe he did it but that is one of the resons why I love her so much. She threw away her life to make sure ours wee great, i feel like being her son, i have to repay her for her sacrifices.

Patterns I noticed during my interviews were that the older people always had better answers and younger people had stereotypical answers. some people I spoke to just shot out their thoughts but could not articulate, and others spoke very well. Overall i feel that the younger we are the less we know about birth and babies, but we all want to have them. I have seen a lot of teen mothers and young mothers and what i notice about them is that they seem to be stressed all the time and they also have no freedom anymore.

Being a parent or wanting kids is someting that we as a whole need to plan carefully because we all want to be the best parents we can but honestly I look around at some people i know and i don't think that the situations that they are in are suitable for a baby. It is a big decision to have a child and the way i see things are that i don't want to be a father until I have MY life in order. Like my dad always tells me, Don't have kids until you have your career because if you do, you will have to give up alot. That was probably the best advice he has ever given me.

hw 30

i decided to focus on alienation while sick and how when people are in the hospital or they are dying, they are left alone with no family.

a resource that i had was my own life and how my family alienates others until that person is on very ill and in the hospital. Another source i looked at was the movie that we saw called near death. The part that struck me the most was the part when the elderly woman passed away in the hospital bed while her family was on their way to see her.

on the internet i researched alienation and it was always something about p.a.s which was parental alienation. I then saw something about karl Marx's theory and it spoke about how alienation is when we separate ourselves from the things that matter.

The way i carried out this project was that i went to go visit the member of my family that we alienate the most which was my aunt. The reason why we alienate her is unknown but it definitely has something to do with the fact that she is ill and so is her husband. It makes me think that we alienate them because theyare sick and we dont want to have that site around us but my family isnt like that. i guess i really don't know why we leave them out of family events. I actually enjoyed seeing her but it was very awkward for me because i was just sitting in her living room not really doing much. i did realize though that she didnt have any new things in her house and she still smiled. i wondered did her lack of knowledge on all the new things our family has gone through made her happier. She seems at peace witht he situation that she is in. she calls my grandma alot and it seems that she doesnt mind being alone. it gives her more time to be with her husbandand to relax. I think being alienated really isnt so bad afterall. MAybe she prefers it. I use to feel so bad for her and the fact that we dont visit her ad i still do feel bad but she seems to not mind.

i relaized and i learned from visitng my aunt that maybe alienation to some may be the worse feeling for some people but alienation may also bring some benefits as well such as tranquility and happiness. I feel tha being alienated is in some cases very positive and the best part of the day for people. on the other hand i learned that younger people do not like the feelin of alienation. One person i spoke to hated being alone and that person would always be sad and depressed. I realized that people who are alienated at younger ages seem to hate it and become depressed. As for older people they don't mind it because their whole life was spent having social interactions with others and this was their moment to enjoy being alone and just relaxed. So being alienated isn't a bad feeling.

This shows that when people are ill and elderly, they usually like to be alone. They also become more joyous and they learn to love life more.

this matters because it is imporant to realize that sometimes people need to be alone and it is not a bad thing. Also the reasons why we may alienate someone is because we feel ashamed or afraid to reconnect with someone. alienation can lead to happiness though because it can make someone do things that they want to do.

hw 27

nobody in my family was sick durin this break and I was happy about that because I really hate the way my family gets when someone is sick. I did find out that my aunts husband who is about 70 years old has colon cancer, on top of the fact that he lost his sight a year ago. I remember seeing him so happy and smiling and seeing us in his house. this is the same person who lost all 4 sons and now my aunt has he husband with her and he cannot even function properly anymore. Iris so sad to see someone suffer like that. My uncle now has to go get chemotherapy now. It reminds me of when my mom ha cancer and lost her hair. she was really sick and luckily my brothers an I had family that helped out. Now that he is sick, my aunt is really hurting. If she were to lose him she would be all alone.

one thing that I feel relates to the situation was that he was like Morrie. everytime I saw him he got worse an worse. it sucked to see it but it's like everyone in my family i going to go through a situation like that. I don't think he will ever smile or laugh again. he cannot even see his own wife and it is so sad but she Is really strong because she manages to still be happy everyday and she reminded me of the guest speaker that we had. I mean it wa sad that she lost her husband but she seemed to cope with the loss. I think that my aunt is going to be ok though because in my family, deaths are very common

I remember when he came to my house maybe around the summer time. He wasn't really sick then. He was blind and had a cane and didn't know who anyone was because he couldn't see us. I felt so ba because all he did was sit in a corner and when I went to say hi to him he didn't know who I was and he didn't smile. It's like he gave up on life. No matter how he is, my family refuses to call him or invite him places, even though we can all easily pick them up or bring them over since they live 6 blocks away. I find it upsetting because my family won't realize that him and my aunt are family too. I felt really upset and couldn't believe what happened to him in a matter of a year and a half. I think ever since his last son passed away he started to deteriorate.